3 Folds
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If God built the world, why did he do it now and not a long time ago? Or 10 minutes later. Like, why right now? That kind of question was something The Almighty might have asked -
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head and dipped it in salsa. Then she broke into song: 'A spoonful of guacamole helps the anti-depressant medicine go down...' and shoved a large serving spoon in his mouth to help
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of both of her stunned companions who watch on in amazement as she French kisses one, Eskimo kisses the other and Chelsea kisses the barman, who reels back in pain, screaming 'Why
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and if you've ever looked into a kaleidoscope you'll know what gut-wrenching experience I was faced with. I tried to keep the colours still but they were like soap in the bath.
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walker. It was sort of a cottage industry with Ronnie's parents: him preaching and her hooking. They didn't have to leave the house to find work. But it all came to a head when the
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Scream mask to its face. When it took it away, it had more of Munch Scream face. 'Ironic comment,' the ghoul explained, but in doing so stopped screaming and to some extent ruined
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I supposed to end this beast? I danced with it for a little while around an animated ballroom whilst a little teapot sang a song about time. Then I, in tears, gave it the bullet.
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credibility as womaniser. His mistress, in her younger days had been attractive but unselective, now she had taken to overeating it was joked she was 'less of bike, more of a bus'.
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. But before any hate crime could ensue the house caught fire and we all burned to death. The funny thing was, when I came to on the other side, they weren't there. I asked about
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Then I got all kinds of schtik from the Dance Police because apparently the Running Man is not 'authorised under section 9 of the Global Dance Step Agreement (GDSA)'. Man! I switch
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no point in ballet. That's why without any training we put on an existentialist Swan Lake production, under a bridge. The drunks would come and watch us, laughing at our terribl
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is a megacomputer made by Apple to work out the meaning of life,' I said, (still struggling to free myself from the whole Douglas Adams thing). He sniffed and turned himself off b
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, I was free to destroy everything. It was like some eighties brat-pack movie party scene but without the slapstick comedy. My friend Greg brought a mini blow torch meant for caram
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. Then was eaten by a crow. Having had no opportunity to perform misdeeds, his karmic slate was wiped half clean, so that he returned in his next life as a wicked badger.
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The cowboy paused, flicked through his latest copy of Vogue, then added, 'Plus, he was wearing white... no one is wearing white right now.' And shot him again wear he lay.
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wore tank tops. For those who weren't strong, it was a popular way to finish things - to stand in a tank top until arms became heavy shelves for falling snow and finally fell off
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told me the name of my first sexual partner (as if I didn't know). Then it set about proving itself in other ways, like spelling out the name of Satan and clearing up the whole 666
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t and it seemed like a constructive enterprise to wander, off-their-heads, along the coastline laughing and making marks and lines on what they would later call a map. "Not worth f
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whilst he was at the top of those kind of lists, he was probably at the bottom of lists entitled 'People I'd Most Like to Spend Time with' or 'Top 10 House Mates' not that
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about sunny California? At least that's what Neville thought as he made his way to work on a cold Tuesday in Sheffield, the numbing wind tunnelling down the collar of his suede