Finished Folds (1981—2000)
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3"You really lost your head this time!"cried a student. "Quiet, or I'll sic my mother-in-law on you!" I groaned. She was in fact already lumbering towards them, zombified & drooling
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4"Prove it." Perhaps I'd had too many margaritas at lunch. Tequila sometimes has that effect on me. Regardless, I got out a can of tuna for Ted, by way of apology. He purred as I
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8, as long as those two things didn't happen simultaneously. Screaming children opening umbrellas, best not to think of that.. Good ol' Hot the dog suddenly had a hankering for
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3catch prey," said Marvin, realizing that he might soon be suffering from empty beard-nest syndrome. "Someday, Cheecho, you will have to spread your little batwings and fly away..."
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4but shoving his salty, nutty cheese balls down my throat was so distracting, that my mind began to wander. I realized that I was thirsty, so I opened the fridge and whipped out
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4shots, only to wake up the next day in a bathtub filled with lime jello, with confetti covering your head, and strange designs inscribed in blue ink adorn your face and neck.
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6ced up. She quipped, "Hatch?! You really lay it on thick." Hatch replied, "Well, as I said, I am sitting on a rather large nest egg. If only I knew someone to share it with."
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5life. He had to stop drinking so much tequila while reminiscing about days gone by. Like that one time he wandered into a biker bar, donned platform shoes, and danced on the bar.
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3the Builder soon drove her to visit the local home improvement center, in a very punctual manner. After perusing the aisles for a certain period of time, she finally exclaimed,
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4ganja rolled into a big blunt. One of them leaned forward and announced it was laced with a little something extra (but they wondered whether he was just blowing smoke) --
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2"It's not easy being a child genius. I should know, or I'm not Doogie Howser, er, I mean Neil Patrick Harris." Honey Booboo was all ears, a trickle of drool forming at the corner o
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7- maybe my luck was finally changing. I didn't recall entering in this contest. Perhaps my dog Fido had done it. I know how much he likes canned beef and cheese ravioli.
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3Og thought he'd rather snog like a happy hog with wild dogs, than be flogged by these polliwogs. Og stood up too quickly in his clogs, knocking his noggin on a low hanging cog
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4purred Catwoman. Penguin wasn't so sure about the hot tub, as he preferred a cooler clime and didn't drink daquiris. So he waddled away, waggling his flipper-hands
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3Uh-oh, this is dangerous ground. Perhaps the safest move in such situations is to helpfully offer, "Honey, would you like some chocolate?" It's closest thing to a right answer.
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7He didn't care for being called that, but the name was so fitting. He was from Cleveland, and as rumor has it, he was steamy under the sheets. As least that's what I heard from
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2a fan of authentic New York style pizza, not to mention a special agent working undercover as a maintenance man. His real purpose for being in the penthouse is top secret.
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7f the toiletry bandits. Brillo was there, scouring the room for Dobie, and then asked, "Your pad or mine?" Meanwhile Mr. Clean folded his arms tightly and said, "I pity the fool."
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3it off with a paper napkin. I popped a Vicodin and took another swig of Tab. Then I got dressed up and ready for my dentist appointment. I hoped it wasn't going to be as painful as
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6soft cushions from under their robes. I cringed as they poked and pushed me toward the brazen bull. "Don't. Stop. Please!" I begged. I bound to have some bruises after this. How