Finished Folds (761—780)
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8In the beginning, the mind was in the gutter. It flourished in the seeped motor oil and Miracle-Gro run-off. Angered by the filth, the Great Moderator devised the LAW which forbade
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5lake in which was an island in which was another lake...and on and on...a recursion of Hasselhoffian dimensions. When I was fully hypnotized by the scar, she struck my head with a
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7beheading of an entire table of visiting Uzbeki luminaries. I was horrified by my accidental role in the emergence of the violent Waitron Jihad, and sought consolation in the arms
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3had a tragic allergy to iPowder which resulted in his head elongating several hundred meters into the flight line of the local airport; within a week, a departing 787 collided
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2chain mail and set off for the Crusades. Arriving in Jerusalem after slaughtering untold hundreds of infidels, Jade realized that she had forgotten to replace the relic. She was
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1nside of a larger bathroom in the meatlocker in the kitchen. This was some swank joint! The rich man's stealth billfold was one of the "Gateways to Hell" identified by Vatican
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9I would sing as I strummed my lute and guided the shackled tourists to Transporter 61B. It was just before the Konsumitall holiday of 2674.01 when the great transporter disaster
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8intelligence increasing proportionally to his internal pressure. A few more huffs and we'd have an Isaac Newton on our hands -- or at least an Anthony Hopkins playing Newton.
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9dropped the vacuum cleaner I was holding. We waited, expectantly, for a romantic rush which never arrived. We waited for hours. When I grew dizzy with hunger, I said "Quqqqqqq" and
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6But the dwarves had a different story. "The vector was in the other direction," Doc informed the committee. "And I should know! That 'saintly' wench infected every one of us, even
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3"I hate the itching, but I don't mind the swelling," Commander David Letterman confessed through the face shield. "Is that -- you know -- kind of --weird?" The boy broke into a
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2cloying attention like a brat resents an overprotective parent. My cooing just made the outbursts even worse. When I had grown frustrated enough, I left my home and family and went
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3thick kickback if they agree to be surgically fused. We've got all the celebrity deathmatch angles covered, I tells ya. Ran every combination through a BIG computer. We estimate
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2told me to skin you alive!" "Wait..." I held out my open palm as if to stop him. "Are you actually Jello Biafra?" His face fell and he began to sob. "I used to be." The broken
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4right vehicle, Craigslist is the last place you should go, but since everyone went there so did Chicke Wicke. He had self-esteem issues. He noticed, under Personals, the label "men
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2Not the hamster. Not the gerbil. Not the muskrat. Not the meerkat. Nope: the whole lot of them were inextricable. He sighed, thanked her for her effort, and flipped her a silver
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2-hopped when he was in the manic phase. Sata noticed Rudy's tail wagging enthusiastically, so she sighed, gave him 10 twenties, and opened the front door. The phone again rang
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10for peddling in a school zone, which would triple the penalty. "Now my dear, Han," she announced diabolically, "you are all mine." Suddenly, a large, furry arm appeared from above
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3reacted with the pig slop and released hydrogen cyanide across seven counties. Dannon filed for bankruptcy the next week. Clip Clop miraculously survived and became revered by
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2which spanned what had formerly been the Atlantic. It was boring, and I now regretted having chosen cryogenic suspension. Super-c travel? No. Teleportation? Ha! 7 billion Starbucks