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did what any sane person would, and strangled Pinkie Pie to death. There, I thought, that should help make that tingling sensation from your coffee go away real fast. I turned my -
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for their new reality show: "My Neighbors Will Say Anything To Make Me Like Them." I was unimpressed. I knew I could be at least seven times more of a suck up than these lackluster
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it was entirely possible to break all known laws of physics simultaneously using only a 835 thread count towel and the human wrist. Bob was astounded and immediately
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, a town similar to Jerusalem but everything was always on sale. He went shopping crazy, he bought seventeen new sackcloths, an enchanted wardrobe, and an intricately decorated
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could just stop eating my creations before I finished them. How could I help myself? The cotton candy helicoptor tasted like raspberries, and the pixi stix skyscraper tasted like
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quickly & quietly disassemble all of your personal belongings and sacrifice them to the sun god. This mission is of dire importance as we think he's angry because it's like hot out
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They often all sounded exactly the same. Some sort of mumbled internal struggle that next to nobody understood. Actually, all of David Booey's songs sounded like that. He was not
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Well that was a new twist. I decided just to have a go anyway. I neglected to notice that the glow in the dark condoms were highly toxic until after my partner had slowly began
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her I'd used my nose to dial the phone. "Cool story, call me when you use an internal organ" the counselor said before ending the call. Obviously I would have to become much more
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nary nail surveys that were mandatory world-wide. But I was smarter than the FDA; probably the FDA, the FBI, and Canada combined. I had successfully immunized myself from all
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gift of slightly worn handmade vintage moccasins. "Oooo!" Squealed the Cuban girlishly "I've been looking, like, everywhere for these!" The Cuban immediately fashioned them into a
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his eyes never leaving the birds. When he finally reached the jar he ate all the chilli jam in one gulp. A poor decision he realized only after his throat and tongue began to swell
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"That's right, we did it" Martha Stewart said proudly. "And we'd do it ten times more" said her scantily clad ho Sugar Jackson. Just then the turn'd up turnip began to spin so fast
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it's cold metallic void of a soul with a soundtrack similar to Its a Small World and Single Ladies mashed up together. The Dark Machine God was truly a madman, but a madman I loved
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e stuffed in his mouth. "That must be it!" Ali realized then that the Archbishop was using a very old dark magic to increase the power of his punches. "Two can play at that game"
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OOOOOOO DADDY KNOWS HOW TO MAKE BABY SWOON, I'LL DECORATE MORE THAN JUST YO BREAST, BOY!" and began to gyrate uncontrollably. Crondaddyo was taken aback by Myrtle's vulgarity, yet
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Then a platonic scratch on the back. Then a very not platonic squeeze of the butt cheek. If that didn't get the point across that I wanted to make sweet sweet babies with him
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"You've a SuperSoaker, and I only got a water balloon." Exasperated from explaining it to him for what seemed like the 68th time "No Hepzibah, that's no ordinary water balloon.
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There, I gave her a razor and told her if she wanted to get serious the thick outer layer of fur designed to weather the elements needed to at least be trimmed to 3 inches.
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They came up with the most delightfully uninteresting droning screeches. The reptilian masses could often be heard imitating them while doing the only legal dance on their planet,