Finished Folds (361—380)
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4did nothing to allay her fears, of course. Mercifully the dinner went quickly. Afterwards she sneaked a look at his credit card when he went to the restroom- "Grigory Y Rasputin"
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2I dialed my dear old Aunty Septic, she'd know what it was. "Hello? Aunty? It's me. Seems I'm in a spot of bother here, what with flesh-eating bacteria and maggots and such in my
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3The police broke into what they thought was a meth lab, but were surprised to find a guy in dark blue robes and a pointy hat holding a glowing alembic. "The Philosopher's
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7olume on the tv suddenly spiked, then dropped to a whisper. Downton Abbey flickered out of existence on the screen to be replaced by the image of what looked like a pink-spotted
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5beautifully patterned origami paper. The look on their cute little rodent faces as she grabbed their legs, twisted and flattened them was just so adorable. Just ahead I spied a
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3Hicks knocked on the door. He'd had no luck with finding an apartment on Fury 161 at all, and the refinery was out of the question. The door opened to reveal an Alien Queen in an
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3The room was filled with toddlers busy playing with their toys. I strode in, set my books down on the podium, then announced, "Welcome to Calculus for Toddlers. I am
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4Oh, wait. Drat. Ever so sorry, seems I've made a mistake." And with that, the voice was gone, the pain returned, and I no longer was Chosen it seemed. Dammit, I hate Mondays!
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3Without cricket bats and plucky slackers like Shaun and Ed to wield them, England seemed doom. Just this morning a zombified Sir Francis drake had nearly succeeded in biting off
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6ship their cats to Kazakhstan, which had a chronic shortage of cats and was being overrun by sparrows, field mice and chipmunks. Within weeks the kiwi population exploded: soon
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3might arouse my lust again. I gently cleaned it off and placed it in its receptacle. Satisfied, I wandered off, doomed to roam the night and clean the grotesque without joy.
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2Finally the opportunity had arisen. The wife was away visiting family in Israel, the kids were safely ensconced at camp - at last I could be myself without fear of others shaming!
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5I'd just sat down to breakfast when I felt myself shrinking. I'd been leaning over my frosted wheats when it started, so naturally I found myself naked, 1 inch tall and swimming
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4The world was stunned to learn that, contrary to conventional wisdom, the majority of vegetables were sentient, intelligent creatures, and that, in fact, vegetarians were
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7"Chip the glasses and crack the plates! That's what Bilbo Baggins hates -". The dwarves stopped singing as one, realizing that Bilbo stood in the kitchen doorway, his arms
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4amusement park. Deepak was the tilt-a-whirl, Tad the shooting gallery. They sold funnelcakes they had made at home (meaning over a tin can in the alley and made with whatever
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4red prominent, powerful lesbians and hard-hitting issues-based programming. When the well ran dry after three days, they opened up a greasy spoon/strip club called Cherry Bomb,
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5Pink Dot and ordered all the above, absentmindedly filing her fingernails as she did. She tidied up the place and within the hour the doorbell rang - there was the delivery man
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7The doorbell rang and I excused myself to answer at it. Standing there was the old man from the State Farm commercial, with his fishing rod with a dollar bill baiting the hook. "I
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11Thinking that, if Popeye gained temporary super-strength from eating spinach, I might gain a superpower from ingesting a common vegetable, I began to eat nothing but lima beans for