7 Folds
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an empty void, not one single person, place or thing did anything ever. So much nothing happened that not even a single additional thing happened as a result! The concept of Chad -
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t's a bargain!" I slipped a Hamilton in his pocket. Maybe this airport-security-spa wasn't so bad, I thought as the TSA agent rubbed lavender massage oil on my shoulders. For once,
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animal kingdoms. In truth, the suspicious-meat-factory was on the brink of fiscal collapse. And as the owner, I had a duty to fix this monstrosity. I knew what I had to do:
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They all laughed when I said this severed arm is my cat, Marge. All at once. A sort of hive-mind-thing I guess? But Samantha, Marge and I are happy alone on Vorgon-6, even if Marge
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produce section was out of swiss chard. If I didn't find chard soon, I'd become some Lovecraftian horror & all would be for naught, for witness protection could never save me from
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a free-spirited sort. You can't just go around telling such a creature where, when,and on whom it should pee its magical fiery urine. It doesn't work like that. As our house burned
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10. Sentient toothbrushes that feed on the blood of people with really bad dental hygiene. "I don't know how we ever did without that one" Mr. Nondescript said to Billy, as he
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the crepuscular terrors from beyond would visit me and tear me limb from limb (long story). I decided to have another cup of joe instead. But just my luck, the coffee was
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She felt if she could just hold her n one more time, she'd be whole. Days on n she searched, right up until the bitter n, & when she thought she'd never spell NANNY again, her n
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Xzqx shouted, "Seriously? I'm an Agooglian from Plerm too! What fluRm do you follow?" The hapless amnesiac froze as she faced yet another impossible sitution. "Well, you see, I
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I'd had it with Agnes. The nagging. The vitriol. So I did what any rational man'd do: I smashed a frog in her trap" he said, bawling. But Manatee didn't believe his crocodile tears
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that he'd accidentally cut his pinky finger off and pints of blood showered over the garden. "The wedding is ruined!" one guest said for some reason. But the real mystery was
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"He's at it again," the rooster crowed, "Cheryl, I've had it with that lothario cash register next door & his checkout of the week!" "Are you gonna complain some more, Bob or are
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plastic surgery clinic where his daughter was to marry Martina, Lem shouted "I respectfully object!" The crowd was shocked (presumably- their faces didn't really show it) because
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So she- Woo geez sorry, I'm getting a bit randy just thinking about Susie Lou the seductress elephant. Anyways! So she charged after Pop, flopping her trunk suggestively until he
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s like a daytime soap opera, only with more stamp collecting. We planned to elope during Monday bingo when the nurses were distracted. Monday came but we forgot our plan so instead
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haunt me for years. One of the shadows opened its infernal trap and spoke: "Hey, I'm Stan. Everything ok?" Horror of horrors! Was this real? Convulsing in abject terror, I screamed
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The old kook blathered on about how things were heaps better back in the day. His grandson Noah balked but 65 years later, Noah gave the same talk to his grandson Blorg. Another 65
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I want to have your babies!" "Woah hold up" the injury said "let's just start with some Neosporin first, okay?" It didn't get any better. Our relationship was toxic, but I couldn't
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"Actually it Was for Failing to capitalize 'Jaywalking'" said Brad "but Close enough." "Yeah the grammar Laws are Pretty arbitrary These days eh?" Ex-convicts made Bob terribly unc