Finished Folds (41—60)
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2& was naked as a newborn at a nude beach in late July. Carey didn't intend the Amazing Kreskin, Marriage Counselor, to interpet the gesture as a pass but to Carey's dismay, Kreskin
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6Oedipus was frequently mistaken for a lawn gnome. He tried to find meaning in what happened. His poor mother. And it hit him: everything in life led to this moment. He was meant to
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4He scoured for the perfect Taco Tuesday recipe. Yak Foie Gras? Curds & Waay Too Much Butter? Nah. Dawn came & he had nothing. I must say, the cook tasted quite lovely char-grilled.
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3JUST LIKE HIS MOTHER TAUGHT HIM TO (HER CHILDHOOD DOG WAS KILLED BY A LOWER-CASE LETTER & CONSEQUENTLY SHE HAD A LOT OF CAPS-LOCK-RELATED ANGER ISSUES) BUT THIS WOULD BE THE DAY HE
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3out of his bushy black hair. IT Dude shrugged. "My pockets were full," he said. Mr. Josh gasped the Gasp of a Thousand Breaths. Condoms made him terribly uncomfortable, ever since
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4"This guy is hammered," one of God's thugs said, pointing a fat finger at Heath. "Make sure he drinks plenty of water before bed" Steve helped the now-crippled Bruce up, "You. sir,
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4and LikeMyDisease.com!" She took a selfie with the soggy discarded business card in the background and was off, oblivious to the fact the business card was actually a
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3Uncle Sam brushed crumbs from his beer belly & belched. God, he hated this Souza march. The color blue. The taste of apples. Most of all, he hated the crushing expectation to be
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5Spitting on ugly babies was one. Staring at donghonkers was another. And this was one donghonker Blanche could oggle for a fortnight. "Hey you" she crowed, "you've got a swell
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6stole my backpack. Just swooped down & snatched it. I thought that only happened in viral videos. I told my friends, the various numbers & colors, about it later. Cyan & 23 didn't
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8face looked fine. Meanwhile my cheeks began to swell. The room, wavy & green. Did I unwittingly slip it in my own mead? Tiny suction cups sprouting on my skin indicated Yes. Poogan
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2like ya own the place?" Joghson was petrified. The Risenking sighed, pulling up stools & 2 beers "C'mon, loiter over here with me" "A-Are you going to kill me?" "Well yes but first
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6some sort of a slime you put in diet soda to make it taste better, I'd have some modicum of respect for you. But you're not. You're plain Martian slime. Who do you think you are??"
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6to one miserable man, Larry Struthers. He didn't know the Glorious Cosmic Worm personally (just through friends of friends), but he despised it. When he finally met the Worm, Larry
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2The tea-loving, rain-hating man dragged a whale-sized tea leaf out from his shed and strung it overhead in a canopy. Just as the first guests were arriving, he accidentally ate
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5He sued me, what with the whole mashing a spleen in his face thing, but it turned out the judge was a Golden Retriever so the suit was thrown out. A huge misunderstanding, really.
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5"What, this?" I gestured to the flaming Bible in my hand, shocked and embarrassed. I never seem to know the right thing to bring to a housewarming and tonight was no exception.
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3didn't like her. "Too much fire. Not enough smoke" the cigar puffed. "Pay no mind to Mr. Smokes," Samuel P. Goldbutt said. "You're hired." The new star of Blood Harvest IV wondered
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3The blistered leprous virgin had a pulchritude to her. Maybe me and her? Some quantitative-easing? Nah. I axed the trebuchet rope & she flew. Lord Flatulent Cauliflower smiled.
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14ed salad fork was all I had with which to defend myself, and surely the Minotaur had five, maybe ten, forks at least! I was doomed. And my fork was slowly warming. The labyrinth