Finished Folds (141—160)
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5If you attend the funeral and exchange shallow pleasantries with the family, turn to page 128. If you stay home and bawl unceasingly into your mix of strawberry quik and gin, turn
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2I shrugged. The club's lights coldly bathed my distant yearning for authentic human interaction. It's in the most crowded places (and those without smells) that we feel the most
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1aughtily, "It's goo goo g'joob, you gits," as he rolled out a red carpet for the next attendee, a Spanish-speaking sea serpent. He cleared his throat and stepped to the mic.
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1As do my cold, dead pants.
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3"I bet that when this story started, I was still alive." The other Steve was all "Crikey!" and took a bite out of a tomato as the artificial rains fell. The Steves felt soothing
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1the Black Bear of Despair had plenty of time to consider his own mortality and whether to bend away, Matrix-style. "Woe is me, I never learned kung-fu," he droned, and
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2galleons being scuttled off the shore, he was miffed, for he had planned a might wind for Cortes and his ilk, but the wily Spaniard stayed one step ahead of the
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4will finally have a higher purpose! God chuckled at his own ingenuity, the reverberations of which crushed some rock and formed the Grand Canyon. "For my next trick," he said,
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3For example: we are lousy at keeping secrets, but great at asking questions. Just now, I revealed what you intimated to me to your worst enemy, while inquiring about the weather.
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1the party to end the 5100+ open stories on a trivial website known as Creased Tale, channeling the denizens' nonsense into gospel truth. Madame Soso opened the ceremony by
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4but not the higher truths of the Dharma. When March spoke of finding solace in the three jewels, May giggled and descended one level of existence, into
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1what appeared to be a man on a wire between the twin towers! I rubbed my eyes and looked again, but I only saw stars. Just to be safe, I called
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2caught that really thick accent from her. So now, I'm on my third attempt to get a bank loan. But hey, my new saddle comes by overnight express and then it's high time to ride
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0But the girl, named Punch Me, who was unaware of irony, continued engineering the span and plunking cinder clocks in funny patterns. She looked up to see
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2therefore would never come to fruition. A friend or two might try it for a day, but they'd never be seen again, and their paltry evidence would prove that once again, she had no
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4Next thing I knew, the bus driver was hollering "End of the line!" and nudging me through the doors, just as I finished the fuselage. "You can remove me, but you can't stop my
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1skimmed the brim of his grim limbs, as whims primmed him. "Heh, I'm good at words," Slim grinned to himself, lighting another cigar with a
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3(literally) dropped his tail in fear. He scampered back from the vortex and dove for cover under a
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4"Your backwards logic doesn't faze me," said the moderator. "Now, answer the question."
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5moment before that, and Dr. Johnson didn't make the connection until his cross-stitch didn't take and his pants fell comically to the ground. Ironically, she was a size nine.