Finished Folds (81—93)

• 1
  were so offended that they demanded an apology, or they would never "Like" his status updates again. Tosh put down his pancakes and twitted his most infamous tweet to date:

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  2011-06-15 18:40:36

• 8
  spots for hell. "Wouldn't you rather park as far away from eternal damnation as possible?" they thought. But he parked right next to the entrance, figuring that

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  2011-06-15 18:36:38

• 5
  Of course, being told by a D.A.R.E. officer to not become a dragon just made the kids want to be dragons even more, and sure enough, it wasn't long before the entire fifth grade

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  2011-06-15 18:30:58

• 3
  ...tired of hearing little Jimmy's demands, the mall Santa snapped and screamed, "You're not getting ANY of that shit, you greedy FUCK! Just shut the hell up and

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  2011-06-15 18:03:11

• 6
  Seeing how desperate he had become, we tried to take him to an intervention, but he turned into a car and drove off.

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  2011-06-15 17:56:34

• 2
  die of sauerkraut-clogged arteries, but you'd die happy at this park! Like the jingle says, the rides here "Warsow" great that they

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  2011-06-15 17:53:54

• 2
  I don't know why I was prohibited from eating the British Library during my sentence. I had no intention to eat it. It's not even edible. Prison sure is a weird place.

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  2011-06-15 02:13:53

• 5
  importance of my scientific achievements that I became the world's first posthumous diploma recipient, AND I was the first person to receive a diploma from a posthumous university!

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  2011-06-15 02:08:25

• 3
  and Mama wearing what God gave them danced the family jig, passed down from generations of inbred cousins. Tennessee is the gre

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  2011-06-15 02:02:58

• 1
  side and put it right next to the "hot" side, rendering both sides "warm". And that's why that burger was never successful. I hate that song for ruining the McDonald's Corporation

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  2011-06-15 01:57:50

• 5
  had better give me his lunch money or I would stomp his "masterpieces", he laughed and said go ahead. So I did. But it was a trap! Underneath the unassuming spires of granule were

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  2011-06-15 01:52:58

• 5
  two parents. "But everyone's born to two parents!" Luke yelled. "Well, yeah... but I'm born to two parents the way a drifter is born to two parents." I said, to which he replied

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  2011-06-15 01:49:25

• 3
  a tank, attempting to shoot down all these damn birds and motor vehicles. When I woke up the next morning, I found myself in jail for hijacking a Prius.

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  2011-06-15 01:44:45