Finished Folds (61—80)
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1it reached the end of the river, at which point it suddenly stopped rowing and growing at the same time. It then started knowing and throwing and going and towing and showing and
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1as he'd been planning to have me circumcised anyway, so my accident saved him a bundle. In return, he offered me
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7"'did Carmen Electra' is my point," he retorted with an eye roll. I threw up my hands and
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3which is why fat people should have to wear deodorant on their entire body. Why do fat people like science fiction? They dream about being planets! Why are fat people
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2douchebag in a police uniform!" I retorted whilst flipping the double birds. I got a huge fine, but the officer completely forgot about my friend, so it was totally
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7it's everyone's responsibility to constantly remind their friends about their buttock circumferences, so when my friends didn't let me know, I was mad. I dropped my
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3He ate the résumé and frowned. "Tastes like cardboard," he said. My heart sank. I didn't get the job. I left the office, only returning eight hours later to retrieve my résumé.
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1"Oh come on! Timmy saw me throw scissors before he threw rock! You all saw it!" I whined in vain, as nobody could hear it over the witch's ominous chanting. Well, nobody but
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6which is understandable since he worked with printers for a living, but come on! I invented the laser printer! Desperate to make her love me, I attached a laser to my testicles and
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5saw that the veins resembled Orion. "Damn it, we told you only to date Geminis or Scorpios!" they yelled at her. "But Orion isn't an astrolog..." "THE MARRIAGE IS OFF!" She angrily
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0pulling dolphins out of the ocean, dragging them back to Dallas, and having them pluck his wick. "Damn it," I thought, "this isn't why I studied marine biology." But
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3she'd won a lifetime supply of cat food as a parting gift on a game show, despite being allergic to cat fur. She begged and pleaded for a different prize, but Pat Sajak laughed
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1"On the way there, we can stop by the Yellow Brick Road and pick up some Munchkins," he told Dorothy. "Perfect!" she cried. Her hippos would be full for a week. They
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2time some black-and-white person struggled with simple chores, only for a new product to make the chore simpler and restore color too? Would he get erections whenever Billy Mays
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4"But this IS a wildlife painting, honey!" Chevy retorted. "Bullshit, it's just a bunch of random-ass shapes!" Barbara insisted. "Look harder." As she squinted, he made his getaway
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4put its big horn right through his heart, which killed him instantly. Not "whited out", KILLED. Misty was a murderer now. As she panicked, Togepi laughed and Psyduck
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4I opened my laptop and logged on to the world surveillance network. I queried the number of households on earth with one or more mops. Result: 10340299. "Yes," I calmly told Gleek.
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4The prolonged, bloody gang war raged for decades, until the two gangs agreed to get married and file their taxes jointly. Peace prevails after all!
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5my space table's chances in court. "Your honor," I interrupted with no regard for the ongoing judicial proceedings, "could you please translate that into Martian? My table doesn't
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6, but then she wouldn't have known how to power the propellers, and she'd look foolish in front of the other passengers. Besides, she thought, the airplane to hell is flown with