Finished Folds (61—80)
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4I know those markets have a reputation for sky-high prices! When Whole Foods customers leave their cars unlocked, I'll break in, search for cash, and leave one of my devices under
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5The most impressive was probably the record for "highest death toll of any video game". I may have lost, but I survived, so I'll count that one as a win! Too bad the winner
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5Seriously? A serial killer with a name from a song made famous by Bobby Darrin? "Mack the Knife my ass," scoffed a chipmunk as the man struggled to lift the body from the car.
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4The rubble left behind after the sanitarium had been demolished was as haunting as the building itself. I couldn't resist exploring- that was when I found the journal.
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4I was reluctant to try Satanism, even such a relaxed variety. I'd experienced just about every religion in the void of my existence, but... "It's all about instant gratification!"
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7picked up her phone to dial the second woman, but the second man had already bled out. The first man threw a suspicious glance towards the third man- something seemed off about
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4pie before it had time to cool. Mrs. Greenthumb, listening to the thieves through the hearing device, snickered quietly as she added a dose of arsenic to the lemon jam filling.
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4Not, however, the one award that Mr. Bonjanga truly desired. Seriously? No Edison Award? For a sustainable light bulb that could last over 50 years? He wanted revenge.
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4Postal pigeons, though slow, were reliable- for the most part. However, hunting had taken its toll. The committee needed a solution. "Dragons," he concluded. "Mail dragons."
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1I figured, with my mind gone, there was nothing left for me in the way of a normal life. So I proposed to the lingerie-wearing penguin and settled down for good.
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6Love? Who needs it when you can have a chocolate replica of yourself manufactured fresh every day? A long, fruitful life- compared to a pet tiger? See ya later, suckers. Rawr!
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7She charged admission! Lying there day after day in my glass coffin, my mankini'd body on display for all to see...I had to break out. The creme brulee booth was stocked with torch
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6I stared in horror as the fifty humans changed... they were twisted, their bodies melting down into a stew of ones and zeros- corrupted code. They had formed a virus. And they were
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3I always used to say there was nothing worse than cold coffee. Well, that and AIDS. Infanticide's up there. Racism isn't great. Death...pain...suffering...but, again, cold coffee.
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1with him. "Please, Jake, don't leave me!" he cried, and I held back a sob as I abandoned my partner in crime. We'd been through so much, but the money wasn't enough to bail him out
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8If you're reading this, there's still time. Just the fact that you haven't yet lost your sight means that they won't reach you for a few more minutes. You have time to prepare
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5You gaze in horror at the screen of your computer. Your story...your folding story had been perfect! And they completely changed the topic! Your eyes glow red as you reach for the
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0reached for her wallet, then realized with a gasp that she had left it on her nightstand. Two hundred plates later, she left the restaurant, smelling of food scraps and soap.
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3The pages curled and crackled as roses of flame bloomed along their edges. Blank ink was consumed by black soot, and a column of smoke blossomed into the sky. No more would
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5As I listened to the pop song for the hundred and twenty-second time, the lyrics finally began to make sense to me. I understood its message at last. The end is near! An apocalypse