I'll never forget the day my goatee came to life. You see, I'd found this top hot in a thrift store, and, on a whim, I'd stuck my goat in it and mumbled a quick prayer to Satan.

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The clock struck midnight like oh so many tried and true fiction books. The protagonist pondered while the antagonist schemed. And then something happened leaving the reader hooked

Pop Quiz: You're doing about 45 and the light turns yellow. There may or may not be a large ditch on your left. Do you: A) slow down; B) speed up; or C)

They threw him out in South Central LA with no money, no shoes and only his camera crew. Now it was time for Bear Grylls to survive in the harshest environment. He

It was among the grisly discoveries as a group of men folk on horseback tried to solve what appears to be an Indian massacre of a farm homestead.

She was very appreciative of my services and promised to cure me of my Coulrophobia. She told me that we needed to steal the emperor's first child

'Tis astonishing the lengths Rupert will go simply to be nasty.

Under about 348 stacks of rice paper was one key. Little did Gabby know that it was blue, when the Aqua-Marine key that she had been told was in this location was miles away.

Nosy Mangabe is wet. No surprise there. It's a rain forest. We tramp through the streaming rain to the dilapidated shack and roll out or mats. Just one Aye-aye pair left somewhere

Liz had just finished folding her laundry when Wilt walked into the Laundrymat and shoved his head in the Tumbler she'd just used. She head a muffled "Ahhhh..."

...then the door locks and in four hours your oven is clean! I was impressed how the high temperatures scoured the cooked-on grease, but I forgot that I had left inside a

"Sorry I'm late," said Dale as he rushed to his seat. The other members of Artisans Anonymous scoffed. Leave it to the Watchmaker to be 20 minutes late. More irony ensued when

This notion and these principles are irrefutable evidence that there is highlighter ink in your mind. I have no idea how it got there. The nose. Injection. Mutation, but everytime

Can I see it she asked? So I took it out and proudly displayed it! Its so big and hard she said. I just smiled. May I touch she asked? Gently I said. Wow a petrified Dino Bugger

He was attaching braces to the pumpkins teeth. "Ding Dong." He went to the door & opened "Trick or Treat!" He handed out toothbrushes. "They're sonic screwdrivers for your teeth"

Before I left the house for the day I put on my Thinking Hat. A cool breeze gently lifted my Thinking Hat from my head and sent it floating towards a woman in a hot pink dress

Carl from accounting also happened to have a side job as a stripper. Problem is, he decided to combine both jobs and save himself the time.

In the beginning there was the word. And the word was 'good'

"68% of people acquainted with you are beginning to realize that you are full of shit." croaked the alarm clock. Regina must have set the alarm to angst. Well, I'm feeling anxious