I was walking through a street. A somewhat faint aroma of Sunny Delights was in the air. Strangely, I was strongly attached to the smell.

"POPULAR BURGER SHOP USES PAINTED BUNS" was written on the front page of the newspaper this morning.

"Umm, uh, well, ah, 12?" "12?! 12?! What the hell is the matter with you! 12?! I can't believe this. You must be crazy. I ask you

I tried to keep my eye on the sparrow, but now I was looking at a moth circling an interrogation lamp. "You were looking at the moon, weren't you, but you were not thinking of me."

The bar smelled like fresh-squeezed hipster and easily was the worst place the band had ever played. They were crammed over in the corner between the men's room and a gigantic

It was carnage, pure and simple - when Wile E. activated the Acme Mundaninator, suddenly cartoon physics (and cartoon chemistry for that matter) went out the window - falls were

At first, Joe's search implant seemed like a good idea. But it exacerbated his ADD until finally he was scattered to the winds and lost. But like a shaman, he returned from this

For a long time after the events I am about to relate, I went to bed late just to be sure that I didn't wake up in the middle of the night.

It's 1:37 a.m. EST on Christmas morning and I'm sitting here surrounded by wrapped presents thinking "Is this IT? Is this what it's all about?" If Christmas could be different, I'd

Wow, so many shipping options: Ground, air, next-day, Santa... ...Santa? It says here that he accepts payment in cookies. I'm not sure how I feel about elf labor, but at this price

"Hi Mo, I'd like a special. Can you mix up 1 finger each of Pernod, Jagermeister, Robitussin, & Bacardi 151 and light it?" "Sure, you want that with a Azodicarbonamide sandwich?"

Ronnie was the guttural screamer for Retching Uvulas, a death metal band. Lately he'd been listening to George Michael and hoped his bandmates would welcome a new direction. "Guys,

No!!! Did it have to be clowns?! Heart racing, he carefully clamored into a dusty broom closet. Vibrating in trepidation, a vigilant ear upon the door. Jingle, jingle....HONK!!!!

The thing about my job is that, most of the time, you start with a reasonably ethical motives, but end with unreasonably unethical outcomes. That's the problem when you

"Once," she begins, dark eyes buzzing with excitement, "he whom dies raises back from the death. Oh, no, not snarly, or frightening at all, but all flesh and bone."

Detective Manatee stood back while this was occurring, so that he would not “get knocked over” when the dog was “spinning around trying to find” the source of

"Hey!",I yell,waving."Hey!",he mimics,waving back.How irritating;standing in front of each other and waving.A guy appears behind him:"Dude,that's a mirror",I hear a voice in my ear

It's nice to be stuck in a fantasy isn't it? But you can never be stuck forever. Some day you have to return reality... where it is kill or be killed.

The glass jar, bereft of all its former antiquity, decided the story was going nowhere fast. It had to think. Of something. And so it thought, and as it thought it moved. And as it

When time ran out and generic drugs became legal, Big Pharma pooled their resources and began to promote "Sodamitol -- good for whatever ails you." Martin Creosote, son of