Lately, scuba divers off the coast of the "Sea of Mysterious Disappearances" have disappeared. Captain Apparition settled on his fishing boat to investigate.

Transplant surgery is a curious thing. Ever since I got that Chinese man's tongue after my regrettable karaoke accident, I have been able to speak nothing but Mandarin. Luckily,

It wasn't what it could've been, but since we're being honest, it was the best we could do. They didn't give us enough notice, enough time, enough. You get what you pay for.

A man was stranded on an island. With nothing but matches and rope. Out of no where a bear appears. The man runs. The bear catches him. Natives to the island attack the bear.

Frank stammered out the code phrase: Di..dime is two t..times a nickel! His addled brain screamed that this will never work, but he knew he had to try. For Squeaky, for himself, an

Wearing his freshly ironed white blouse and black tie Chuck sat in his cubicle, passively clicking button after button on the keyboard. "Gee, I sure wish

"Tall chai green tea soy latte?" Shouted the barrista. The fist grabbed the cup. It exploded into a fine mist, all over everyone. Clark Kent dropped the crumpled cup. "Sorry."

Twelve year-old Kate looked grumpily out of the window of her crowded SUV. She felt nauseous as her car swerved slightly back and forth through a massive blizzard.

Since I've had a moustache and glasses drawn on my face with an indelible Sharpie, women are drawn irresistibly to me. Or is it the Lynx?

Help! I've been laminated!

"I hereby convict you on assault to 12 weeks incarceration."The Judge paused to let the sentence sink in.During this silence someone in the gallery let her rip,an apocalyptic fart

Medeira drew circles in the waters of the fountain, chanting in a whisper the words of the only spell she could ever cast. It was forbidden, yet she did it anyway, knowing

But at Yar's funeral all Data could think about was the episode where he and Yar did the nasty. That was great. He had a photographic memory. Picard waited. So Data said,

I received a memo from my boss entirely in webdings. It was marked as URGENT, naturally. I ignored it, thinking it was a joke, but I'd forgotten that my boss is insane. The next da

It's CPA's that I hate. They all act like they went to some tough graduate school and are like doctors, and they are all idiots. All of them. That's why they put those stupid

So the king bid farewell to a dolphin.

The mousies get eaten by the fishies when the moon turns turquise, thus meaning the surfing Ferrari will go on display in 2017 at burping park.

Sophie raised her arms and waved, blowing kisses at the audience. She cocked her hip and skated on one leg, the other bent, and vamped for the crowd. Her pigtails fluttered on her

atheists' are

yesterday a man told me to get in the car nd he wuld give me candy but