There I was, looking down the end of the tunnel, and believe it or not, the light was NOT on. So I turned around and tried to

Aunt Valetta sent me outside to collect one more squirrel for the origami paper-making lesson. She was the only person I knew who could flatten an ordinary squirrel and create

"A fat lady's ass." Dr. Nexus showed him another inkblot. "A box of Krispy Kremes." Billy spoke flatly. "And this?" "My mother." Dr. Nexus looked at me and nodded imperceptibly.

When it came to the women's ski jumping world championships nobody expected Mobitu from the Democratic Republic of Congo to even qualify. Mobitu had an indoor ski jump at her home

After Disney sucked it dry and left it to die in the form of 23 installments, the Star Wars franchise received a little mouth-to-mouth from the adult film industry. Episode XXX was

It was a choice of living life to the fullest, seizing the day, or watching a "Heroes" marathon on Netflix with a bottle of Mountain Dew Code Red and a bag of Flamin' Hot Cheetos.

The whole world had had enough, but only one badass mofo had the guts, the need, and the know-how to pull it off. Bunnicula was going to finally snuff that skank Edward Cullen.

'Sit comfortably,' the naked man told her. 'Touch the tip of your thumb with the ring finger and press gently. No don't touch me. And keep the rest of your fingers straight. This w

And after all that hard work, all she said was "Bravo, and now go mow the lawn, we will have guests tonight." Guests. The last time we had guests was in 1979, and all that happened

Jenna pulled the cookies out of the oven. "umm yummy" she said "look at these tommy" she called as tommy her son ran into the kitchen.

Question: Is it a bad sign if you get too lazy to smoke weed? I had the bong all loaded but just couldn't get motivated to fire it up. Instead I played

He walked into the room like someone who had done that kind of thing before.

She lived upstairs. In the apartment that the doctor had died in. He was a shut in. Smoked, fed his cats, and died in bed. The owners never told her that Dr. Gibbs

WHOLE GRAINS ELEVEN. Tony the Tiger, Sonny the Cuckoo Bird, Chip Howler the Wolf, the Trix Rabbit et.al all walked away from a big explosion in slow motion wearing leather jackets.

People always tell you to be honest, but no one really is. It's all crap. If we were being honest, we'd all admit that this society sucks and we'd rather just relax. But, everyone

I was a latchkey kid. We moved a lot, too. I never got a handle on settling down to a future that would inevitably change. One day on the way home, two roads. I took the shortcut.

"Top Ten List of Candid Questions to Super Heroes and Their Even More Candid Answers"10)--For The Hulk:Is your poop ever green?--Like the rain forest!

"Scared the Hell Out of Me. It Was a Great Wake-Up Call (Although I Wasn't Really Asleep)" — Russell H., from Wichita, Kansas.

On house arrest and unemployed, Pete had nothing better to do than to punk the mailman and spy on his neighbors. One day, while using his Steiner Tactical binoculars,

"What if I just wedge my hand right there, real tight." He asked. She said, "yeah that's good." His rock climbing instructore was extraordinarily ugly but