After we woke the Kraken, it turned out we were kindred spirits. Never quite sociable at any hour, and certainly not just after rousing. The Kraken and I both liked sardines and

"We're making nuclear weapons out of hemp?" The Ayatolla scanned the lab. Which one of his scientists were responsible for this? Was it Nazir? No he hated hemp products, what

I'm still not sure what it was. All I saw was an older man, in a suit & hat, carrying a brown suitcase. But there was just something suspicious about it. Airport Security

...and that's a wrap!" The director lit his stogie. Another one for Red Box. He was the maverick who made all the cheap knock-offs. He just finished "Hungry Games" and now he

He dropped into the backfield. Looking for receivers in the endzone. He pump faked, passed to the open receive. A wail erupted, the QB saw that he'd just thrown a baby

I am an invisible mangonel.

Cheney handed out thin strips of paper. "What the hell's this?" asked Rumsfeld. "It's a political litmus test,when you lick it it changes color. Red means your a commy. Green and

How do I get this party started? What necessary steps and actions will contribute to the bountiful joy that I must acquire? The most important rule in planning the ultimate party

Gordon was an accomplished plumber. He had three golden plungers in his trophy case. His latest work was more than a pipe dream. He sat down on his time traveling toilet & flushed

I merged onto I-5 north, prepared for several hours of sensory deprivation. Boredom. Flipping through my CD wallet I saw an unlabeled disk I didn't' recognize. Huh. I inserted it

She gave me that stare. The one where she knows that she's in control. The one where I become completely vulnerable. The one where I give up on protesting. She'll get it anyway.

"Dociousaliexpilisticfragicalisuper". The customer holding the shoehorn/toiletbowlbrush looked at him quizically. "That's a buck fifty. " "Oh, I thought you said

"Cabbages for Babbages, eh?" Charles was delighted and patted his stricken friend on the shoulder. Tesla muttered, "Sanskrit, gematria? This cannot be!" His eyes emitted excess qi

Wanna hear the most annoying thing in the world?

They whispered "We hold as self-evident, that all humans are created equal, endowed with unalienable rights, among these are life, liberty & the pursuit of happiness." A drone flew

Arduin's head was a blizzard. The world was Music, he knew of Magic, but even on the weekend nothing came out of his hands. He felt like a turbulent mannequin in a mental cage of h

"This old man. He played one. He played Nick Nack on my thumb. With a Nick Nack paddy whack. Give the dog a bone. This old man came rolling home." Nick Nack was not amused.

I ordered the penne, asked for more iced tea, and fiddled with my napkin. It was too much too soon - the crowd, a date, the fake plants, the odd number of slices in the bread-

Pheweeee and hot damn! We're on a roll!

The great cities have risen & fallen. Civilizations grip on mankind is weak & arthritic. Dark forces renew forgotten covenants. Primordial beasts reclaim the wilderness. Out of the