"Scrape some from the bottom for me. Get some of the peas" I rasped, surreptitiously sliding a cigarette into Cookies pocket. He scowled, glanced at

"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" yelled Gandulf, "Unless you read The Simarillion in its entirity." As the new Denfence Against the Dark Arts professor, Harry thought he was a bit of a tool.

Grandpa's newest invention was "Water proof coveralls" . The neat part was watching them fill up like a balloon every time Grandpa farted. Then his beard would fluff up when the

Who would have thought that Yuru was capable of murder in cold blood! He looked away from the monitor, his eyes tired and sleepy after looking at a screen for 167 years.

Detective Manatee has finally returned. Away on sabbatical for a few months, he'd spent some nice time at a "spa" in Arizona, getting rid of a few demons. But duty called & he

"One man's junk is another man's pacifier,"

Last week on "Sparky Pickles" ... :

He was a medieval slob on a skateboard. Paunchy. Balding. Long greasy hair at the sides. Sweatshirt. Cargo shorts. Hunchbacked. Smoking. Wide leather bracelet like

"IS THE skin between your fingers SAGGING? Do people MURMER about your INNIE-CREASES? We at SKINNY-Ds Plastic Emporium have a one-stop surgical solution.

I swear to God I'll pistol-whip the next guy who says "shenanigans"!

Last night I found a picture from an old family photo album. It showed my family getting off the boat from Sweden to America 76 years ago, greeted by me. I was 13 when I found it.

There was a deaf in the family, but no one said anything about it.

The 2014 Boston marathon was fixed.

Should sex be used as a reward (do this and I'll do that)? A threat (do this or I'll do that)? An identity (be a man)? A fill-in-the-blank bubble (M, F, Other)? Should marital sex

Every time he arrived for work he looked tired, weary, almost sick. He seemed not to spend a good run at home. Probably, he

The rain fell, noiseless. I hadn't even noticed that it was raining until he put an umbrella over my head. I knew he wouldn’t ask what was wrong and I wasn't planning on offering

I'm testing the site for a workshop for teachers in May.

Principal: You son is suspended from 2nd grade because he made his Pop Tart look like a gun. Parents: It's just a pastry, you know. Josh: I just kept biting it & biting it but I

Pinnochio had been cleared of perjury. Not really cleared, but at least had the charges dismissed, for now. That turncoat grasshopper was going to pay. "Always let your consc

The day started like any other. My alarm buzzed. After letting out a groan I climbed out of bed. I got dressed, ate breakfast, and got ready for work. That's when I noticed it.