"Put it down there on the table, please. I'm feeling so tired, so very very tired you see. You're so kind but I really must sleep now. So tired.

"Your mama!" "My mama what?" "Your mama wears fish stockings!" It was true. There was a tangle of mackerel, sardine & puffer fish caught in them. But my mama was the fishwife

The storm railed against the house with thunder so loud, it was deafening. Then, it happened. The sky opened up and it swallowed me whole.

hh

LittleRedRidingHood and Wolf had a plan to kill grandma but it envolved the huntsman and it made them feel unease.Red decided to seduce him but turned out he had other preferences.

"Today on Kitchen Miracles we're going to fix filet mignon in a lobster sauce, smothered in caviar and truffles, for a family of four, all for only $10! First you want to start

I am a simple girl, I have but one fantasy. When my mother opens her mouth, I wish I could just shout "BORING!" Just cut her off in mid-sentence when she's telling me about

I looked at my box of Grape-nuts. They didn't have any grapes or nuts in it. It didn't even have a mascot like Cookie Crisp. No prize inside either. Disappointed.

Your lips i taste one mine

My nipples had been sore all day, but I hadn't had a chance to check them - work was crazy busy, and I didn't want to be late for yoga afterward. That night when I finally checked

It was a dark and stormy night, and the biggest and fastest spaceship in the world was being overrun by chickens.

"So this fella" said Nock, "how will I recognise him?" Nick sighed "Because, Nock, he will be wearing a hat styled like a guitar amplifier".

...a combination shredder alarm clock. Just place place a high-denomination currency in the top and set the alarm. If one doesn't awake, the blades will

We were on the Budapest-Prague train. The American opposite was infuriating. He'd paid my excess in dollars as the conductor had refused forints or sterling. But he wouldn't accept

On the Importance of Commas in the English Language: Man bacon is so good. I need to eat poop and shower before work. But this toilet's only for elderly disabled pregnant children.

"This old man. He played one. He played Nick Nack on my thumb. With a Nick Nack paddy whack. Give the dog a bone. This old man came rolling home." Nick Nack was not amused.

...You are five miles from your destination. Please take "The Yellow Brick Road" at the next exit. Continue for 2 miles until you reach the "Enchanted Forest." Witch Detour Ahead.

A Lad's Story "Hey bro guess what bro i got me new tns this morn bro oh my god bro they are like fully sick bro" "Awww bro that is so coool bro i wishes i was like you bro" " "

Farewell Mr. Nimoy. May your katra live on among us and teach us the wisdom we need to survive in a harsh universe, to live long and prosper.

OMG... I just woke up in a room full of naked people. That's the third time this week it's happened. Then there was the cheesy fry incident. Clearly the LSD was beginnning to ta