"Hey man, wanna call a truce?" he asked me. We were back-to, pistols in hand. "Sure thing," I said. But I still planned to take my three steps and blast him. When I turned around

When he awoke from his coma, the room was empty, yet so full. How is this so?

I found it hard to find fault with them, but that didn’t absolve them of their responsibility. A quick check of my mental inventory listed the likeliest location of my missing

Due to tribal social pressures, I have agreed to publicly celebrate the pair-bond relationship with my mate. I have prepared an offering of severed plant genitalia, dyed wood pulp,

J. Edgar Hoover decided to go shopping. He'd been bottled up during the whole law enforcement convention. He needed to breathe. He needed freedom. He needed to be "her."

Then she farted.

Hundreds of years ago, our planet hosted a small human population. Despite an abundance of land and food, the greedy rich, as usual, hogged it all and forced others into servitude.

My "wife" was outside hanging the "laundry" so I decided to take a quick trip to the "store". Upon arriving, I noticed I'd forgotten my "wallet" so I had to call a "friend" to see

We the people of Del Playa Avenue in Isla Vista, California, USA, on this day March 27, in the 2013th year of Our Lord, do hold these truths to be self-evident: that you can not

He bared the most adorable under bite that had ever been seen. Fuzz- like fluff surrounded his face and feet, all of the girls fell in love with him. Their favorite part was his

Toto didn't bark, he just skulked so hard he pissed. Dorothy looked up in fear. She saw the Wicked Witch of the West Side Connect flying in on her giant

My goldfish slapped me, so I was

Why is it that every time I say the word "Alfalfa", everyone looks at me like I

"If you don't have time to type out a grammatically-correct and properly punctuated story, just don't bother!" I thought aloud to myself as I flipped through a women's magazine.

When Ida became a vampire, a new problem presented itself:

Charlotte was one pissed off butterfly.

Sixteen cheerleaders stood leering at me. I had miscalculated the timing of their return to the locker room and now had been caught with my pants down and a pair of panties on my

They call him the 'Child Whisperer'. What he does isn't much different from horse whisperers, although Derek claims to be psychic. He also claims that Child Whispering is a skill

"It's not a TUBAH!" shouted the Austrian botanist. "It's a drupe!"

Father finished off his port & espresso, stretched & yawned, and grasped the table with both hands. "Dinner's over, kids. Now leave Daddy alone. It's folding time."