I came home after getting groceries last night and there was a seraph with a flaming sword guarding my apartment door. No matter which way I turned, I could not enter. Unsure of

When I was here, I wanted to be there; when I was there, all I could think of was getting back into the jungle. Every time I think I'm gonna wake up back in the jungle

All your base are over 9000, so i did the Gangnam Shake Flop. I also herd u liek cheezeburgers, so u can haz 1, as long as you call me maybe on friday, 'cause everypony's lookin

As pizza delivery guy, you encounter some pretty unusual situations - the role-playing party with transvestite witches who complain their pizza isn't vegan

Everything began with good intentions, but it ended with a never ending nightmare.

Roger Corman wondered how to top himself. "How about Sharktopus vs. Dinocroc." Nah.. I need something new.. or old? Frankopus? Yes! Dr. Frankensteins greatgrandson is a marine biol

Pregnant women must eat 18 chewy chocolate chip muesli bars during their first trimester. After the quickening only crunchy chocolate chip muesli bars should be eaten because

He showed up to the marriage counselor's office three hours early. He handed her 10K cash and said, "When my wife and I come in later, remember she is WRONG," and he winked

"Son, I've started more stories than you've even added to. Heck, I was folding stories back when you were picking music for your Myspace page." "Yes, but just look at my Avg. Score

I

God this smelly Santa disgusting! The mothball odor from the fake suit, Gin fumes escaping from under the kinky cotton beard and the quick rise off his suit from a huge fart

'Plastic is not biodegradable' said the robot to the professor Frankenstein. "So we're going to live longer than you. Soon you will be eating plastic food and wearing plastic dres

No one was there, yet the note had been clear '2 a.m. in the Coffee shop' -it said- and so I waited, but the uneasiness made me refuse the idea that Mr. Smith could prove what he

My wife said "You know the one. She's young; attractive." Alarm bells went off. Feign ignorance, & you're busted. Express confirmation, & you're busted. I said "You mean yourself?"

He feel in love with his doctor's daughter's teacher's neighbor's mailman's chiropractor's favorite radio talk-show host's attorney's dentist's front desk clerk's sister, Esther.

Jacques Harigato lowered himself silently into the vault. His shoulder hairs detected no untoward vibrations, no wayward vibrations, but also no good vibrations. His back hair

Months past everyone learnt Dick Cheney orchestrated 9/11, had a puppet for president & killed his enemies in convenient "accidents". Less power than he bargained for. Who cared?

Hackers hacking hackers. Easy prey. They should have noticed how easy it would be to have someone take them down personally with a flash hit-squad. Better money than porn, that's

It was a sunny day in Alresford City when Joe Griffin decided he would take a long walk in the wood with an axe and a spade

I need a dollar. That's what I need. And if I share my story with you, will you share your dollar with me?