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  • 33
    Avatar
    I was walking through the woods one day, and I came to a fork in my path. No signs signified which road led to where. One path was dark, with trees growing up on each side, clawing
    Finished
    2018-08-16 22:21:14
    Took
    3 years, 191 days, 21 hours, 59 minutes, 23 seconds
  • 31
    Avatar
    A is for alligator. They are green, they like to live in Florida and sometimes they eat small dogs. If you rub their bellies, they get sleepy.
    Finished
    2017-07-23 18:40:35
    Took
    3 years, 192 days, 34 minutes, 54 seconds
  • 15
    Avatar
    I don't care what He says. When the computer voice is singing in Daft Punk's "Up All Night," it sounds like it's singing, "we'll rub a Mexican lucky."
    Finished
    2017-02-08 07:50:55
    Took
    3 years, 192 days, 4 hours, 35 minutes, 21 seconds
  • 18
    Avatar
    "I am pleased to report that your million-dollar grant did not go to waste. My team and I discovered that dolphins do indeed nap with one eye open." The board members started thro
    Finished
    2015-07-16 22:16:19
    Took
    3 years, 192 days, 5 hours, 54 minutes, 47 seconds
  • 27
    Avatar
    There are minor stresses at the fold lines, but through no fault of my own. I just tell it like it is. I can divide my life more or less into ten phases. I got over 'wonder' pretty
    Finished
    2016-09-04 09:22:09
    Took
    3 years, 192 days, 9 hours, 33 minutes, 25 seconds
  • 25
    Avatar
    Be yourself. It's never too late to change. It's no use crying over spilt milk. The squeaky wheel gets the grease. Respect your elders. Don't talk to strangers. Don't eat yellow
    Finished
    2016-06-25 23:44:47
    Took
    3 years, 192 days, 18 hours, 27 minutes, 34 seconds
  • 40
    Avatar
    "You understand that this something I can't just Google, right?"
    Finished
    2017-10-23 11:36:01
    Took
    3 years, 192 days, 19 hours, 5 minutes, 28 seconds
  • 37
    Avatar
    I'm glad I met my friend Josiah Toast. He was clearly a shaman, even though he only had supreme skills in mundane card magic. It's not just that he provided cover for the rest of
    Finished
    2017-01-14 07:10:03
    Took
    3 years, 193 days, 5 hours, 24 minutes, 8 seconds
  • 23
    Avatar
    Emily Post got arrested today.
    Finished
    2017-01-17 23:55:01
    Took
    3 years, 193 days, 5 hours, 54 minutes, 43 seconds
  • 15
    Avatar
    "Butterfly in the sky? Ha, I can get twice as high." I thought to myself as I reached into my Bag-O-Drugs, randomly pulling out
    Finished
    2016-03-10 12:47:22
    Took
    3 years, 193 days, 7 hours, 35 minutes, 39 seconds
  • 20
    Avatar
    "Stop!" I cried. "Please stop."
    Finished
    2018-08-17 04:11:44
    Took
    3 years, 193 days, 11 hours, 27 minutes, 53 seconds
  • 53
    Avatar
    You could hear the blast twenty miles away.
    Finished
    2016-11-03 23:09:01
    Took
    3 years, 193 days, 12 hours, 16 minutes, 5 seconds
  • 25
    Avatar
    He pursed his lips in the dark and let out a silent whistle. It was the moment Tim had been waiting for. Angela removed her T-shirt and two luminiscent Areola shook free.
    Finished
    2017-02-09 14:33:44
    Took
    3 years, 193 days, 14 hours, 44 minutes, 33 seconds
  • 97
    Avatar
    I propose that the town of "North Pole" shall be henceforth known by the name "Ho! Ho! Ho!" Furthermore during voting on this measure affirmation shall be indicated by the phrase
    Finished
    2017-10-16 00:01:54
    Took
    3 years, 193 days, 15 hours, 15 minutes
  • 50
    Avatar
    Have you ever thought what life would be like if you were a mouse ? well i know what its like cause i am a mouse.
    Finished
    2017-07-22 11:01:53
    Took
    3 years, 193 days, 21 hours, 18 minutes, 49 seconds
  • 26
    Avatar
    He grew even more concerned that the schizophrenia was back when the strong aroma of asparagus pee wafted up from the bowl. He hated asparagus. He looked around. "Hello?"
    Finished
    2016-08-08 15:40:36
    Took
    3 years, 194 days, 4 hours, 39 minutes, 47 seconds
  • 54
    Avatar
    Always tease tease tease. Siempre - coqueteando y engañando. You're happy when I'm on my knees Me arrodilla y estás feliz. So what do you want? Really now. Should I
    Finished
    2016-08-08 15:28:31
    Took
    3 years, 194 days, 12 hours, 59 minutes, 24 seconds
  • 26
    Avatar
    "What is with all these freaking medicine men in these stories?" I bellowed at my computer. "Why can't we have benign, non-racist topics like the merits of green and purple grapes?
    Finished
    2017-09-16 20:59:18
    Took
    3 years, 194 days, 15 hours, 22 minutes, 46 seconds
  • 26
    Avatar
    Like an overripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage cheese, the corpulent remains of Santa Claus lay dead on the hotel floor.
    Finished
    2017-02-08 17:12:54
    Took
    3 years, 194 days, 20 hours, 55 minutes, 54 seconds
  • 90
    Avatar
    As I stood in the meeting place I felt like such an idiot. Why had Betty insisted I come dressed like a frog?
    Finished
    2018-08-24 17:22:36
    Took
    3 years, 194 days, 23 hours, 13 minutes, 34 seconds
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