The approach of day is heralded with the sonorous voices of the huge gongs being vigorously beaten by the official welcomer of the dawn.

And now is the time for the uncomfortable questions. Is retarded a bad word? Is hand-washing requisite after #1? Is it pandering for 'likes' if you 'like' a fold you don't like?

I kick ass. It's unbelievable how much ass I kick. Should be illegal; probably is. Don't care. Too busy kick'n ass. All day; all night. Asleep, you'd be like "Damn, that guy kicks

It was my junior year in high school when the problems really started. Up until then I had been able to control my urge to mate, but when I encountered the school mascot that

I think I lost a friend. Well, they haven’t been a particularly good friend to me recently anyway. As with all my friends, I still love her, and that’s why what she says to me

The universe has become so rife with bend and arc, I think we can't depend on parallel lines not intersecting for much longer, did you see that bend in the moon's orbit last month?

I didn't win the Powerball jackpot, but it could be worse. My identical twin got hit by lightning while making a hole in one.

"Oh." She paused. Then, "I thought horticulture was the study of prostitutes." It was little moments like these that reminded me why I loved her so much.

If I saw ninety naked neighbours noisily navigate numerous networks in MY neighbourhood then I would surely

"You don't do it like THAT you do it like THIS!" I shouted, choking back the tears. Once again I carefully rearranged the teacups in a straight line. They were fucking my day up.

I see a little silhouetto of a man. Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango? Thunderbolt and lightning.Very, very frightening me.

"Well I'll be damned" swore Mr. Fitzgerald, my high-school physics teacher. "There really are a multitude of angels dancing on the head of this pin."

His hands were all over the place.

Agnes clapped both potholder-clad hands to her ears. "Nonononononononononononononono!" Buster hesitated. "I guess then you don't want to?" He raised his eyebrows.

"You wanna see who can scream the loudest?" said kid number one. "Sure!" said kid number two, and together they set about to ruin my eardrums, and my life.

What can you answer if a child asks 'Is Santa Claus real?' You can tell him the truth and destroy his hope and trust. But what if that person is an adult? What would you say then?

I was doing roller blading in the park , SUDDENLY, I SAW ONE OF MY FRIEND. HE ASKED ME' RAHUL HOW IS THE WEATHER ? IT IS SCORCHING HEAT , IN THIS HEAT I MAY GET SUN BURN AND ....

She shouldn't have sent the letter. She didn't mean for anyone to read it, but that, too, is a lie. She knew that when she put the words "need" and "fear" on the page,...

Call me Ishmael. Some years ago-having little or no money in my purse, I took a job at Starbucks. The manager, Mr. Ahab was obsessed by a customer he called the White Whale, who

Red wine,red roses,red lipstick and a fresh layer of red paint in the bedroom walls.