What about that volcano under Yellowstone Park? Or the volcano in La Palma in the Atlantic? If we're all doomed should I just get take away food tonight?

I stood staring at the pile of warm, freshly dried laundy. Won't anybody FOLD with me?

I wanted my Dog Daffy & I to grow old gracefully together so we attended Doga courses to reduce anxiety but when we retired Daffy became incontinent & had to wear Doggie Diapers

It was a day when everything eas odd...look outside the window and sow...

Magnetic zeros stuck to my forehead as I considered all the time I'd wasted here. I tried getting back on my feet, but Edward would have none of it. I blew a dustbunny from my face

Leyendas Argentinas

It was final: "Say Yes to the Dress" and "Curb Appeal" would be merged into one half-hour show, featuring a celebrity judge every week and a "sudden death" segment in which one

My 83-year-old mother covered her mouth with her liver-spotted hands. Her eyes twinkled gleefully. "Yes...yes I did," she giggled. "I called him 'Mr. Dildo' by mistake!"

Nothing ever changed. Every day Tod would log on to his favorite hook-up site, and every time he would be greeted by the same pathetic faces. No one new ever seemed to join that

"Keep left. Arriving at jail," said the GPS. The jewel thief wasn't falling for that one again. He stuffed his stash in the glove box and navigated the city by memory. Jaywalkers

Chernov fumed. "Oh sure, don't worry, the asteroid will miss us by thousands of miles -- but then they get the transit time wrong by several hours?!! What kind of

Geoff was polish, he was an immigrant. Entered UK in 1900 and reproduced. This was not good, he likes UK and didnt like poland He was going to blow up russia and hurt kim jong un

Franklin laid some rifts on his glass harmonica. The French Ladies-in-Waiting were swooning to his clever slides. Ben crooned "Anybody want a revolution, baby?" Adams sneered.

If I told you once, I told you a thousand times...don't pick your nose! Cramer bent his head in shame, knowing she'd have to tell him a thousand and one times. An anger boiled up

I ordered the penne, asked for more iced tea, and fiddled with my napkin. It was too much too soon - the crowd, a date, the fake plants, the odd number of slices in the bread-

The story of Game of Gnomes was about different gnome families competing via hopscotch battles for ground in the garden. The gnomes who occupied the rose garden

When the explorers of the sexy naked body discovered the windy back passage it was only a matter of time before a gust of wind would cause the navigation to be blown off course

The day Smurfette missed her period was very stressful in the hidden Smurf Village.

MJ died on the anniversary of the moon landing. The NASA creeps hated him for getting all the moonwalk clicks. I use Google to expose conspiracies , but its a two-edged sword since

No one would every guess my password. I took the numbers 1 through 5, and typed them in ... backwards!