Newton was sitting with Darwin by the fire one day. A piece of bread had fallen on the hearth. Newton picked it up. "By God, Darwin, I think we've cracked it, we've invented toast!

C'était une fois une petit fille qui voulait devenir une princesse...

Fire on Sunset! We were in gym playing volleyball as we smelled and tasted the scent of something burning. In minutes, an announcement was made saying, "Please teachers keep all

For George, the rehearsal just felt... off. He approached the lead actress hesitantly. "Um, this is Les Miserables, right?" "Uh, no, dude. This is Miserable Lesbians." She looked a

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Josh from work was forced by necessity to buy a pint at The Famous Cock in Highbury last Tuesday. He told me this in an email even though he was sitting at the desk abutting mine

He was the perfect man. Sitting across from him on our 1st date, I admired his smile, the way his eyes twinkled in the candlelight, his laugh. Only 1 thing: Green slime was drippin

Frank filled up the dolls with sand & lead weights, screwed their heads on & heaved them into the jogging stroller, put on his running tights & strapped on his water bottles.

"That's three hundred people." I said dryly. The 'Big Boss' fixed me with a look that said it all: He really didn't care about those 'Peasants', lives. I did. That bomb would blow.

The S.S. Incredulous was surrounded by a fleet of Rog Rovnitovs's alien pirates in international spaces. "Scum! And we were so close to Xephyr," said Commander Erma Gerd. Missiles

The rain splashed against the bottoms of his shoes as he ran through the midnight shower. The zombie ninjas were hot on his trail and he was running out of options, when suddenly

Zelda zipped Zoloft at zany zebras zig-zagging zealous zealots zonked for zero. "Yes!"

It was a rainy day in LA which is rare. I braked too late & my cab ran into the car in front of me. I went to exchange addresses & was surprised to see Danny DeVito sitting on two

I removed my shovel from its massive sheath to fight the axe-wielding sentries. "Combat Analogies Weekly" said that shovel is to axe as rock is to scissors, so I swung wildly until

Snoopy was sleeping on his dog house when Woodstock

An uncommon storm shrouded Downton the night the unexpected guest arrived. He had just returned from the Americas to pay his respects to his cousin the Dowager Countess. Barnabas

When the war ended, Derek left the army and spent his war pension on plastic surgery. At first

Dave and Flip Floimhaven Flanderhoff were good-natured idiots, but idiots nonetheless. Dave's dad's company devised a time machine, and the two dressed as animals to fight the Nazi

Mr. Paddock loved pickled herring sandwiches. He'd eat them with "sailor bread" and drink raspberry soda. Because he never brushed his teeth they were fishy and red.

When you're russian for food, there is no time for Stalin. KGB.