My wife left me because of my wandering eyes. I couldn't blame her. I sighed and switched on my sonar before I got out of bed. It sounded like they were in the kitchen cabinets ag

He wore a Turban and nothing else. He was the Naked Sikh and his only super power was a giant

Came home, drank about 8 or 9 Budweisers, then went straight to bed. I dreampt of thick rivers cascading as waterfalls into the ocean. So much water. Flowing. Streaming. Then

I walked into the kitchen, where we had once made spaghetti together, but

The event was unexpected and for that reason, unwelcomed. The plan called for proper planning and for every contingency being covered.

La femme mystérieuse était sur la plage à Nice. Elle attendait le soleil....elle ne voulait plus vivre. Sans Jésus, son petit chien rose, sa vie était misérable

There ain't nuthin' sexier than a girl that knows how ta shoot, 'xcept mebee one that ken

The older guy Sharona had been seeing was turning out to be a possessive creep. All this my, my, my business, and all the talk about getting it up and making his motor run was just

I have a fetish about toes. I have ever since I was born.

I looked upon my bedroom wall, never had I seen so many shadows dancing on it. N object in my room could cast such terrific things. I covered my eyes with my blanket but something

I would feel better if the knife butchering me was worth more. I know you got it from the bargain shelf, because you can't afford to spend a mere $1000 for a diamond encrusted one.

She had been up all night. Vodka and harsh cigarettes. She made out with fifteen different mouths. But there was a deadline. She drew a cat, with a pink bow and no mouth and called

"What's your problem?" He snapped when we entered the house. "You ruined the night just because you wanted to be a brat!" He treated me like a child, when I was a fully capable 80

I nervously boarded the cargo elevator, my enigmatic guide sliding the door shut and flipping the switch. We began to descend deep into the earth. I was nervous, but I needed to kn

As the boss, he quit trying long ago. Sure he showed up, but basically just dicked around all day. He had his feet up watching Entourage season 5, disk 2 when the bigger, regional

Captain Gabe and Tippy

Bertie wore a cool party hat to the occasion but when he got there, he noticed everyone was just staring at him. "Jumping Spiders Gone Wild" would be his downfall, especially now

Byron was getting weird so we sent him on vacation, but when he got back he put mosquito netting around his cubicle & when the secretary came with the mail he said, "Me Tarzan, you

Twice, TWICE upon a time

"Are you done yet?" Dr. Moodle asked impatiently "No," Jack yelled back, "Give me five more--ow! Son of a..." Into the hole Dr said, "You okay?" "What! Does it sound like I'm okay