The night before our departure, I could hardly contain my excitement. Leaving for Ireland for a marching band performance was the opportunity of a lifetime, especially for St. Patr

I was in jamaica visiting family. i was having the time of my life. we went all over kingston and saw friends along the way.

Brett had teased Samantha since the beginning of fifth grade. When this insecure, overweight girl threatened him with a water balloon, he never imagined that she would follow thru

Quentin signed for the package and nervously pulled the tab on the envelope. Palms sweating, he reached inside and pulled out what appeared to be a photograph. It was of a thumb.

You are illiterate. You can register most of the words but are unable to subvocalize what an author meant to say, assuming the author actually says anything at all, which

"Las Palabras Completas" only contained 17 words, but it was Albucon's gift to the world. The selection, the sequence, the texture and scent of the paper, the impress of the type -

"But sometimes, sometimes I dare to look him in the eye. Straight. He's like at the end of the bed and stuff. Just, panting. And I look in Fido's eye and I see a killer lurking in

The line for the new iPad was three blocks long at 5am and people were getting testy. When an old lady tried to get to the bus stop, someone shouted “NO CUTS!” and a riot broke out

Monsieur Herault wanted a distinctive fragrance all his own so he commissioned Hermes. Little known to M. Herault, the ingredients included poodle musk. On his daily visit to Gardi

"Yeah, Suri, she's our baby." No Tom, you're not fit to be a parent. You're a terrible human being. You're a whacked out, insecure shrimp scientologist. And I'll tell you what Tom,

My goal is to find a way to resurrect the internet of 20 years go: back before commercialism and social networking and media paranoia. Waybac just doesn't cut it, obviously. When

She was my daughter. I was proud of her. She'd opened up a juice store called Jambo Juice. She was doing well until Jamba Juice opened across the street. Corporate villains.

“Laugh it up, Fuzzball.” said the Siamese cat to the Manx. The Manx couldn't help laughing, the Siamese had just his testicles clipped.

Finn and Jake decided to go on an adventure

I may only be an imaginary friend, but I'll be damned if Mr. Monty Buffit is going to be Forgotten like the rest of those poor made-up bastards! I'll be sure the boy never forgets

'How did this happen... I got myself into this mess, though, now I just need to get out.' I thought to myself, looking down at the chocolaty mess covering my new dress.

This bitch had to go. Not only did she have the balls to post a note in the breakroom in ALL CAPS, but she'd used comic sans font. I'd fashioned an office shiv out of post-its and

In the Black Hills of South Dakota, just off of highway 90, there is corrugated rusted hangar. If you pull into the dirt lot, and pay a dollar at the turnstyle, you will see

Joe had just hit the pope with his truck. There were no witnesses. The situation was surreal. He left the cab and checked the pope's pulse. The pope had no pulse. He put the

Boom!