The bear slowly unzipped the tent and peered inside. A wide-eyed couple peered back. He cleared his throat and asked, "Do you have any honey lozenges? Sore throat." The commercial

"But mom, I can't do the laundry when there's a cellar parallax. The detergent keeps moving." Mother rolled her third eye. She grabbed her trinoculars and investigated the

Punxsutawney Phil finished his survey of the satellite images & entered the data into his weather forecasting program. Then he took the elevator of his underground penthouse to the

She was 12 years old but in charge of Microsoft. Brilliant, evil, sophisticated, she'd taken her Dell laptop and turned it into the world's most powerful little engine. She

They say the neon lights are bright on Broadway. They say there's always magic in the air. But when you're walkin' down that steet and you haven't had enough to eat. TRY MC D'S NEW

Between the drummers and the flames, Viktor Kamchatkin swayed in shaman's garb. His attendants gripped his chains. "In the year of the White Orca" he droned as his eyes rolled up

Reggies' boss liked to take potential customers for a round of golf to relax & help synch the deal, but when Reggie sent his ball into a sandtrap for the 3rd time, he got T'd off

The Minotaur flossed a victim's entrails from his teeth and put on a tie. "I got my wallet, my keys... Hey, my keys are gone!" He'd dropped them in the maze, again. His date waited

This is a story about a band that changed the world. A band of lovable drunkards who would get so inebriated that they would practice their instruments together for hours at a time

Mickey and Minnie Mouse had just broken it up. It was awful!

He feel in love with his doctor's daughter's teacher's neighbor's mailman's chiropractor's favorite radio talk-show host's attorney's dentist's front desk clerk's sister, Esther.

As my mind snapped back into reality, I felt the turquoise fluid drain around me. Moments later, I opened my eyes to find myself free of my stasis chamber. Why was I awoken?

Every day, at least 100 mothers are killed in unfortunate skiing accidents.

All of the world's problems began billions of years ago with a single belch.

In this new universe, entropy decreased slightly with time. You could leave the dishes dirty and if you waited long enough, they'd become clean. Consequently, society had become

Epenthesis, parataxis and zeugma were sitting at a bar when in walked hysteron proteron,

He was a distinguished gentleman, sophisticated and debonair. So when his wife named their firstborn son "Porgy," he wanted to strangle her. Porgy LeMonde grew up to become a

New York had ritz and grit. That's why he'd stayed, even living on the streets. But Jim had all but given up when the Limo stopped on his corner. He raised his sign "Will act for

Dear Landlord: It seems like ages since we last spoke. The puddle of unknown liquid that is dripping from my living room ceiling has spread now to the bedroom, right over my bed,

He knew all the words to Adele's "Rolling in the Deep" but couldn't remember who fought the War of 1812 or why, which automatically qualified him as the world's worst American