It wasn't my intention to break my leg on my wedding day. It was just convenient that it happened when I decided I no longer wanted to marry her.

The quality of early childhood education

The trick was to have at least one more world than you had illusions. If you had equal or less the illusions died. But with that extra world you could have the illusions feeding on

The night was November 27th, also known as "Black Friday". Justin and I were on our way to the mall to do our annual people watching.

In that definite & rare descriptive case, the logic & truth value were both valid positions. However such existential topologies were only found in null pockets of empty space.

There once was a lawyer who lived in a tree

the elevator tried to break us down but we said oh no! lets go crazy! my surrealist skills are a bit hazy but i thought we could try it. just for shits and just for giggles

Drats! That damned mouse stole my cheese again. It was day 47, and the vermin was stealing my expensive cheddar cheese. I walked around the apartment slowly, with a shotgun in my

"DAH-BEE-DUS." And with that latest failed attempt at enunciation, Wilford Brimley's agitated speech coach stormed out of the trailer and moved on with her life.

The first single from the album, title track "You're not ugly or poor, are you?" set a music industry record by

The Great Wazoo strode through Walmart, his soulless black eyes narrowed as they scanned over the aisles. He was on an important mission: to find a pineapple.

He was racing to get in line for lunch, when Jasmine cut in front of him. She had done this every day this week and he was just sick of it.

My brain stung like a bee colony was floating around up there. But I took more pills, turned up the radio as I slammed on the gas pedal. I had a wedding I needed to destroy quickly

So, it happened that Texas actually DID secede from the rest of the United States. To make up the deficit of states, Puerto Rico was made the new 50th, and we invaded Newfoundland

Life's too short to give a shit! Life's too short to hear out anyone's complaints about what I'm wearing! So I strip in public and yell, "NUUUDISTOOOO,,, BEEEEAACH!!!"

One day there was someone walking and i ran up to him because his book bag was open so i stole the book bag and ran little did i notice there was my future.

My hate comes from pain.My insecurity is my weakness.I was surrounded by my regrets,consumed by loneliness,taken over by guilt,been left in darkness,hated by everyone i loved

He wanted to "Mercedes" his mother. So he designed a car that had her curves and personality, but she was a cantankerous squash-shaped octogenarian. The "Gertrude" sold poorly but

"What starts with 'come here' and ends with 'ouch'?"

When man finds his inner-self, nothing is left secret for him. "Blessed are the pure in heart" coz "he will see God. " he will see God in everywhere, in those flowers,trees,seeds