Jessie stepped on something. She heard a creaking sound - suddenly they librarys vast book case was toppling upon her, book cascading like a water fall of pages. She screamed. But,

"I'm an expert knife catcher. You there, butcher in the assassin's garb, I bet you have a knife. Throw it here, and I'll catch it. Just make sure it doesn't spin, that's too hard."

Peter sat down in confessional. "In my day," he thought to himself, "it took a Roman with a sword to make anybody confess." He tried peering through the wooden screen, but the

once upon a time there was a platypus. the platypus liked tea. he was British. the British/Canadian platypus liked carrots. the end

The coffee cup waited. Jan poured caffeinated rag water into it. It was the cup with Winnie the Pooh on it. Given to me by the Mexican cleaning lady. A lady I imagined naked but

I love music so much I would...

The car fell on top of me and I smashed through the skylight, plummeting to the warehouse floor beneath me. I flexed my hand and I slowed down. The cheese had found me at last...

A drunk man named Nikita its and a woman or space alien (it's hard to tell) named Tables head out to destroy the volcano God contracted by the secret Asian man named Mysterious Man

Do not poke the tiger. The Frenchman paid no heed.

The stench permeated the entire cave. There was no mistaking it, we had reached the lair of evil incarnate, death given mortal form -- B'chugerroth, lawgiver and master of the void

I'd been preparing for this moment for years but you know you'll never really be ready. Still, this was it. I was filled with a mixture of dreaded anticipation and nervous glee. In

I stood on line at the bank, when 3 masked men burst in brandishing uzis. "ON THE FLOOR NOW!" yelled one. That voice...OMG, it's my long lost dad who left us ages ago! I found him!

I decided to actively research my hypothesis that intelligence could be drastically increased by culling weak brain cells. I felt smarter already. I opened

"Tell me it again. This time with more detail." The beekeeper needed to know everything he could about the attack before he went to the meeting. If a piece of information was lost,

The squirrel had been hatching his plan for weeks. He had eaten his last pinecone on Tuesday. He was now strictly a carnivore. And why not? The apartment complex was full of meat.

You live across the street. You have no neck. A man on a motorcycle visits infrequently. You are blonde, but clearly not having more fun. Hunchback mama please

A troll, a mole, and Dave Grohl walk into a Chinese restaurant. They sit at separate tables and each orders 5 courses. Who ordered the chicken fingers?

He was sweating again. It happened all the time now. Every time he used his Power, it poured off his forehead and down his nose, dripping onto her face. "Why'd you name it 'Power'?

My lawyer handed me the bill. "You owe $400.00." Suddenly, I realized I was in a dream and that I didn't owe him a damn cent." "Here's a fluffy bunny instead. See ya."

"The almighty dollar vs. the Almighty" read the marquee. How US currency got top billing over the Lord is a question