I decided to actively research my hypothesis

  • I decided to actively research my hypothesis that intelligence could be drastically increased by culling weak brain cells. I felt smarter already. I opened

  • skull, used a mellon-baller to take out my useless neurons, added some Miracle Grow and Red Bull, and slammed the whole thing shut. Professional brain surgery is for wusses. (Ack)

  • I gaffer taped the 2 parts of my skull together & caught the bus back from the meat processing plant where I'd carried out the surgery. The bus bumped over a pothole and a piece of

  • tape ripped off my skull and half my brain fell out and bounced onto the bus seat next to me then into a little old lady's basket on the front of her walker as she was exiting the

  • door. I, now functioning somewhat slower due to the loss of my brain, couldn't get to the little old lady fast enough. The bus door slammed in my face & I sat back down in my seat.

  • I watched as the bus drove away, not quite understanding why I didn't feel any pain. The wind blew a balloon from a child's hand as it passed, and a dog ran into the street

  • with its up nose sniffing the air. I watched a puffy cloud in the sky change into a shape that looked like a sad face and wondered if it held any special meaning. A loud moan came

  • from the mouth of the insipid face which had emerged on my abdomen. My love-life, at the age of 38, was over. What woman, in this era, could overlook such a gross deformity? Maybe

  • you're thinking "What's the problem? Just have the head surgically removed." but the second head emerging from my bellybutton was no dummy. It gave solid investment advice & made

  • me a freakin' fortune! I had to keep it. The only problem was when I was with a woman and it reared up, presumably to join the conversation. I ended up rich, but very very lonely.



  1. SlimWhitman Oct 25 2013 @ 10:02

    Ain't that the misfortune of the rich? Great ending by the way and welcome jefforama!

  2. SlimWhitman Oct 25 2013 @ 10:03

    , Carly! and hamstak!

  3. lucielucie Oct 25 2013 @ 14:38

    I like the little hiatus in this story - watching the wind & the clouds.

  4. jefforama Oct 26 2013 @ 12:01

    Thank you! Glad to be here!

  5. SlimWhitman Oct 29 2013 @ 15:10

    Hey, I still get a kick out of rereading this. It reads well and has that poignant ending to cap it all off. Its up there with this older classic for bittersweet melondrama: http://foldingstory.com/x10ru/v

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!