Now that I had exhausted all 7.046692766 e+148 possibilities of keystroke combinations I had to get creative. I decided to give a monkey a rubber mallet, and this is what it wrote:

After the couch lifted off the ground 6" and the china flew off the shelves and shattered, Megan read the label closely. There it was in tiny print: "May cause telekinesis."

"How did I get here?" She asked herself as she took in the greenery around her. Above her was a sign: "You have one hour to get out of the maze. Don't touch the green walls."

The peach fingered man was a kleptomaniac. Soft, fragrant and plump, he could pick a fly's pocket without the fly knowing. The only problem was

Don't feed the dogs or you'll turn into a penguin! How was she to know that one of the least believable of her father's instructions would actually lead to this fate. Her skin

Once apon a time, there was a purple transvestite chicken named Derik. There were some very unique things about Derik. Not only could she morph into anything she wanted, she could

"I'm afraid that I couldn't support you in this", he told her, frankly. "Not now, not ever. Not a single brass farthing shall I issue from my pocket if it should perpetuate this fo

When the Organization for the Prohibition of Chemical Weapons overstepped its bounds and outlawed the use of salt in domestic settings, the Salt Lords rebelled to overthrow them.

Deep inside the house lay a room with no furniture and no lights. The windows were bolted shut and the chandeliers dangled uselessly. Broken glass lay scattered across the floor

"Could you could you color my hair you know the center bit there something out of straw dogs?"

This place smells like rotten eggs.

Elinda was Sophie the Supremes beeeeeesssst friend, until Sophie beat her on a Science test

During a heatwave on a trip to Thailand I contracted malaria. In my delirium I'd written my fiance: Got jungle fever, bad. So hot. Need to stay extra 2 weeks to replenish fluids.

I ran, sweat pouring out of all my pores and above the sounds of my gasps for air I could hear the howling cries of the dogs. It occurred to me I had to make some effort to disguis

Then Adam said, "Wait a minute. If we had no knowledge of good and evil, then how could we have known that disobeying God was wrong?" God had to think about that. What he needed

The woolen scarf was itchy. It was the embodiment of the reason why I didn't believe in love. You had to lie to people you cared about. "Yes, I like your scarf, honey".

"What's up, Searching Dog?" He turned his yellow eyes on me. I didn't know how to talk to him any more. We used to have beer and burgers on the back deck, but now

This may or may not be a brilliant fold. Anuerin Blevins was too rat-arsed to tell.

A lady friend of mine recently told me one of those facts during lunch, that's just too much information at the wrong time..Apparently we eat about 5 spiders a month while we sleep

Now look at this keyboard here. It's connected to that reanimated dead body. A German village was destroyed when I played chopsticks.