"What the dentists absolutely don't warn you about is the real and salient threat of contracting floss finger by following their proscribed routine." The judge removed his specs.

"Come and look at the ground," shouted Elsie. A small crowd was gathering around her, some bending, some crouching. Someone dragged a grey wheelie bin over, opened it & jumped in

The frustrated butcher knicked Tommy by his shirt's collar. The child gagged. "You won't learn your lesson, will ya kid?" he threatened. The doors to the white van opened.

One

Deep in the Himalayas, the monk knew he would never fulfill his one true calling: lion tamer.

I strangled the left neck of poor Gripple, blood seeped through my fingers. Gripple's eyes were closed, it felt like it was over. Then he shook violently and I was happy that his

Once upon a time, there was a boy by the name of Sono. He was very platonic and lenient. Sono never wished to hurt anyone and always helped everyone. Sono also had a

Waking up, I noticed I no longer had arms or legs. Not the best start to the day but I was determined to make the most of the morning as the weather was supposed to turn by the aft

"Frobonate your tuckets, my snockeled Jabadoons, its time to let your plungynogs dungle and leave your gingloid snuffus in the loognardy." I didn't see any tuckets I'd frobonate

What would Jabba the Hutt look like snowboarding the halfpipe?

Why is it that when the first thing we want to learn in a foreign language is new swear words? You travel & can't ask for directions but can call people mofos?

"And the nominations are.... Invasion of the Bee Girls, The Brave Little Toaster, and

My head was pounding, my body ached. I felt like vomiting and had a real bad thirst. I could barely move from all the disgust and anxiety. Still I complimented my wife: "Delicious

This is the story of a girl named Ace / Who rescued her parents from outer space. / She flew on a broom to the top of the moon / and left a breadcrumb there, just in case.

As I lay there in my bed, there was only one word, one name, that was always there, lingering: Raylene. Raylene, my partner, my ally, my friend. One of my last surviving friends.

The beauty of it all was the fact that I didn't even have to lift a finger. It was a Sunday like any other. As if part of my routine, I flaunted my ass in front of the Christians

Sister Mary Tarantula woke from her unexpected nap. The classroom was deserted and the ruler was missing, but she did not need it. Looking eastward, her eyes narrowed. "Putin." She

It doesn't matter what you smell like, feel like, look like, taste like, sound like, or act like. While I'm in one of those moods, if you make eye contact, it's

The bunch of bananas winced collectively after being dropped unceremoniously in the middle of the pineapple bin. It wasn't easy being green.

When i got in to the shopping mall , i saw people running out of the shopping mall, and behind them i saw a meat - eating robot throwing some kind of burning bombs at people..