What the hell were you thinking when you stuck your head in the toilet and flushed? Good Lord, son, I thought you were smarter than that. Now look atcha...you're all wet and stinky

The dapper old man with white wispy hair and ruddy cheeks whistled cheerfully as he walked through the park, handing out handbills for

story 2

Tiger Mountain -- China's top hacking squad -- surreptitiously infiltrated

Minutes remained before my inevitable death was upon me, and I began to reflect. I had accomplished so much during this cycle, yet left so much undone. My greatest achievement was

"FIRE!"I SHOUTED.HEARING THAT, MY NEIGHBOURS CAME TOWARDS MY HOUSE.BUT THERE WAS NO FIRE.HA HA HA I LAUGHED AT THEM. SEEING THAT, THEY STARTED SCOLDING ME IN BAD WORDS.I DONT CARE

Under the guise of helping me to clean up the stables Beecher managed to gather himself a third breakfast. One that he offered to share with me for a story. I felt he was asking on

Horrible, no good, dirty-rotten, son-of-a-biscuit

...So anyway that was how we met and we've been together ever since." She hugged him and they nuzzled noses. "So, how did you two get together?" I slowly drank my ice water.

"But I dare say my fellow, it was 7-11 pizza wasn't it? A sort of Carb-laden greasy circular slab of adipose generating pie, made by non-Italians and a heat lamp. Right old chap?"

“Why, you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking Nerf herder!” The teach heard the insult, the young girl was a creative insulter. The boy in the vest did play with Nerf items so

The Civil-verse was plagued with associated tourists. They self ported through the Master Press like worms in a carcass. My job was to give them a reason to go home.

Swollen tropical raindrops fell from Bozo's eyes onto the pavement as he was thrown to the ground and cuffed. His wig was askew, makeup smeared, but from the wet splatters arose

Once upon a time, there lived an old woman and 10 dogs.

Retired Inspector Lewis met his young friend at the Potato Bug Museum off Trafalgar Square. "I don't mean this snarkily, James, but should we call you Reverend Hathaway now?" James

At dusk in Crazy Woman, WY the drunks had gathered behind the Wash-o-Rama. Phil checked his watch then chugged the last of his wine. "Gotta go, guys, I've got better things to do."

I've been trapped on this planet for my entire life, without any hope of escaping and returning home, so there's no point in crying; it's time to acquiesce and to get a job.

floasoldxowode

I thought to myself, "What if I was to

Even after being away for so long, I knew how everything worked. Well, mostly. I was more surprised they'd replaced my control panel with one big red button. I pressed it, and then