"Push!" she screamed. "Puuuushh!" I was drenched in sweat and the vein on my forehead had popped out again. I strained, but couldn't get it up. "Puuusshh!" "I am!" I cried. The bar

In a world...

Bill Clinton, Oprah Winfrey and 14 others will receive

I looked outside of my window to see at-least 15 of my neighbors driving into my lawn with their lawn mowers. Startled I opened the door to see what was happening. They rushed in.

I decided to take dance lessons from Ronnie's Dance, Trance, and Pants Studio, run by the great Ronnie himself. When I found out that Ronnie was working for the CIA, things got

She admitted to using a number of smoked briskets to persuade five people to grill themselves.

but then he died.

"The poor little waif. He has no home. Bring him in here and get him something warm to eat." The waif, very thankful for her hospitality, went inside and stood by the fire.

"Is it possible to write a serious, emotional, heartbreaking tale on FoldingStory?" Timmy asked the teacher. "No. That's like trying to convince Miley Cyrus that she should quit."

I was busy rubbing mashed monkey glands into my scalp. Mme Wong had sworn that this was the best baldness cure known to science & worth the huge pricetag. It smelt a little like nu

My management philosophy consists of hiring complete imbeciles and then riding herd on every last little thing that they do to make sure that they don't screw it up too badly. This

'Why DO birds suddenly appear every time ev'ry time you are near?' I dared to ask out loud. She shrugged and continued munching on her muesli. That's when I decided I hated her.

50 'other' uses for a penis beaker. 1) denture cleansing 2) orange squash tumbler 3) prenatal test 4) golf ball washer 5) sea monkey aquarium

It's always the dude with the monster schlong that wants to hit the nudie beach. But I guess that's how the world works; play to your strengths. So the seven of us ended up on a

As I sat there with the dessert menu I thought back to that summer day I'd made myself sick eating the whole bucket of blueberries and the folks at the church picnic never got

Tutti fruity aw rudy, tutti fruity aw rudy, tutti fruity aw rudy, A wop bop a-loo-bob-a-wob-bam-boo.

MY folds are honed, lean prose machines. YOUR folds are, you know, OK but could do with some punctuation. THEIR folds are blatant attention-seeking behaviour.

"Okay, we've got Anthrax Toast, Poached Pestilence, Nuclear Tuna Melt, Toxic Taffy. Any other..." "Those names suck!" "Well we've got to work in our sponsors products to pay for

Why is this man talking so loudly and gesturing so frantically? Maybe I can't talk yet but I sure can hear and see him! Why are people so weird in front of babies? I wonder if they

Now, this Magic is one you have never seen before, it is a literary magic called Haiku Pocus.