"Here I am." He said with wonder in his voice "The end of my rope, yet i've never felt better." He took a few more steps towards his fate "i've waited so long for this, so long...

"James, did you give Jimmy his zombie meds?" Did he? Heart thumping, he raced to the den where their toddler had already swallowed most of the baby. "Not a 100 percent sure, Honey!

Hambone hambone have you heard?

I launched myself into the Cosmo, a babe, a raw nerve looking to take root in some place or time. To being changed by the journey from promise to fact. I AM THAT I AM. & you unders

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde are stranded on a deserted island. A magical lamp washed up on the shore and out popped a Genie, "I will grant each one of you one wish!"

A woman beacame sick and when she felt her end was drawing near, she called her only child to her bedside.

One, two, three. Four, five six. I want this to rhyme. Drumsticks.

That guy is gone now. We are his wake. He always leaves us behind to do the hard work. The plodding and trudging, that is our plate. Still, we're standing at least. Some can't do

The Sun screamed, and Barnes smiled. "Such a miracle, brethen" He muttered

How to make America great...again. 1--bring back nickel beer at football games. 2--only hire women who have naturally humongous breasts to work at Hooters. 3--Make the wolf whistle

I like hearing her sandals shuffle gracefully along the sandy cattail-riddled path to the shoreline, and the sparkle in her eye when she first sees the surf rolling toward her.

Undeterred, he set about his work. With such high standards, surely someone would realize the perfection of it all. All he needed was enough time and attention to detail.

They had battled for control of the trailer park. Residents fled to Texas to escape bloodshed. He was tired. He sent a peace overture in the form of a fermented pork sandwich. This

Excerpt patient 101: I saw light around me. And my dad dancing with his suit. Mom is lying in bed with a man called J. Daniels. I laugh, I fly away. Can you fly doctor? I can.

Squirt me she said. She pushed out her chest. He hit her will full force. Hot liquid shot out from the garden hose because it had been laying out. Her neck burned and she

A naked redhead walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a 2-foot salami under the other. He lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says: "I suppose you won't be

It wasn't that Donga minded being naked in front of Parliament, really. It was more like there hadn't been enough time to think up a witty explanation as to why. No turning back

The menu was, at first glance, a selection of vapid, run of the mill Thai dishes that could be found at any Thai place. He handed it to the waiter and asked for the real menu.

'Friggin things musta shrunk up again' she muttered as she yanked on the denim, and completed a perfect impression of an overfilled muffin cup, spilling out the sides. 'Do these

The diamonds were fake, but Jess didn't care. She knew he could only afford the pretend love, but that's what she was giving him, so it didn't sting as much. His wife's gun was