"There he is again!" I stopped my DVR and looked at the paused screen. In the background, stood a man with a rucksack, cane, wire rimmed glasses, stripped shirt, and stocking cap.

Well my knitted afghan condom didn't work because

He listened to They Might Be Giants which only confirmed he was a nerd. But he was also dumb. Being a dumb nerd was like being the lumpen proletariat because

Fred Flinstone went to lay his hands on Wilma once again. Finally, Barney stepped in and said,

I opened the door to see an abnormal looking person staring back at me.His eyes looked dark and tired. It was 1am.What was he, what did he want? He started to open his mouth and

I stopped running. It had started to rain. I didn't want to get my clothes dirty, couldn't spare to get it dirty. I feel like I'm in some kinda movie, why had I chose to run away?

Countdown... 1 2 3 4 5 Blastoff!

A Frenchman, a Mexican, and an African-Canadian walk into a bar in southeastern Kentucky. The music stops. Reg

He would love to meet the mediocre genius who invented the concept of potential, and then the awesome thinker who came up with the concept of trying to reach it.

"What's your Wind-to-Stank ratio?" ""scuse, me?" "When you float an air biscuit, how many times does it stink?" "100% of the time." [pause] "Bullsh*t."

She walked slowly down the stairs gazing at the door. She couldn't exactly remember how it had all happened, or why. She only knew that there was nothing she could do now; there wa

"Dear Molly, On sight thereof permit the Bearer to immediately enter a pair of sheets with you and let him have ingress, egress and

"This right here is what you call a Powder Keg." Said stupid Billy. God I couldn't stand him. Everytime we went out we got into trouble. He pointed his .357 at the jet fuel tank

Then Clarence Darrow let his suspenders crack against his chest. Like a slap against the whole courtroom. Mopped his head and screamed,"What the HELL is a "Money-Money?" I ask you

He looked down at his steak. The blood bubbled up next to the pockets of fat and glistening gristle. Then he kissed the steak. Winked at it. Touched it with fingertips. Love.

I don't know about God, but the Devil is a woman for sure. How else can you explain

Not wanting to end up on primetime news, strangers describing the nuances of her personality, she decided to take the road veering right. But as she reached the fork in the road

He Band Jumped to the Speaker Station. They would never look for him here, the body lights aren't ever able to penetrate the sonic shells. Throwing a charge tracer into the

He stapled the plastic tarp covering the hole in the patio door. He took a vacuum and cleaned up the stray shards of glass. Rising up slowly, he brushed his khakis. Dinner would be

She was known as "Air Borden." She earned this nickname because of her incredible wood chopping skills. She swung the heavy ax like it was "air." Hard woods exploded into the "air.