I got a pocket o' beans, a pocket o' beans, a pocket o' beans and a snuffy snuff snuff...

The steak lay quietly in its styrofoam tray, tightly wrapped in plastic, tormented by nightmares. It could neither scream nor thrash nor even shudder at its horrific dreams. No one

He creep out of the room and went down the staircase to reach to the door. Slowly, he opened the door and

I heard footsteps coming nearer and louder. The place was dark. Sweats rolling down my face. " Who's there?!" I shouted. Suddenly, a gun pointed at my face...i was shocked and turn

Leia was nervous. Yes, Han had seen her in a copper two-piece as Jabba's slave girl, but tonight, their wedding night, she couldn't help but feel a little ill at ease. What if he

Harry Hare and Tatty Tortoise were both classified to run the one hundred meters race at the Olympics and they were both planning their trip to Rio when

"Well isn't that FANTASTIC!?" I asked Johann sarcastically. He gave me the look that he wanted me to shut up. I was ruining his interview. This was he shot at being GREAT!

I'm too sexy for my Anodontiglanis.

"What *are* marriage vows even? Rules? Guidelines? More like suggestion box pipe dreams at best." Man, Craig sure knew how to talk me into justifying the dead hooker in my trunk.

"Ain't never told this story before," Bobert whispered from his rocking chair. "You'll see why. Years ago, my wife Greta told me a secret 'fore she left me. She said, Bob, I'm

Dressing in the old lady's clothes was something he never thought he would do. But Just the thought of his blood soaked uniform made him think that the dress fitted him quite well.

I'm a panda waiting to be rescued from the Antarctic. Why am I here.

I didn't like driving at night but since it was an emergency I took the car keys and headed towards the shiny new BMW. I opened the door - and stepped into blinding sunshine.

He erotically caressed her nose. She sneezed violently, sighed, & cuddled into a ball beside him. Ah, life was just about perfect.

The world is turning around in a loopy way at the moment so I won't lie down.Just write things down & admit I love you guys as much as one can love a bunch of strangers on a websit

Tiny Bobby & Cindy continued their body tour down the abdomen & into the crotch. Here they met a little man. "Who're you?" "I'm the Scrotum Factotum!" The Scrotum Factotum told 'em

when i was walking along the woods,i saw a man burning in fire and was holdng a hamburger and was burning it in the fire which , he was covered in. and i was shock and i ........

"You misheard me," I said, hands raised. "I said 'terran-ist.' Means I hold the belief that Mars should be treated as a colony, not independent. Can you put the guns down, please?"

I was out of food, water and batteries. The river stood before me and behind, in the jungle, the grunts of the monkeys closed in.

Floating in a dead can in space. My air is almost out. Once this last bar is out I will only have the air in the 3 spacesuits that are still functional. So I had about 74 hours of