Some people like rain drops on a tin roof. Others like basking in the sun. Kids like to build forts in the snow. But my favorite weather is heads above them all, sleet.

BREAKING NEWS: Cindy Shaffer just stepped out wearing pinstriped black pants, with a bright red top, and the absolute shocker was the chunky faux turquoise pendant around her neck.

It was a bright spring morning. I headed off to school as usual, but I couldn't stop thinking that something was different about this day. I started to

She was tall, blonde, and beautiful. No one knew her real name. She was simply known as "Boochie." Cool and intelligent, Boochie was called upon often by the CIA to pose as a

"Russians. Koreans. Wookies. Lego People. Hicks! Burt Reynolds fans! Liposuction!" Suzan kept shouting clues. Mark stared in disbelief. She was the worst Superpassword partner

My aunt has a colostomy bag. She's shown me the bag, and the "stoma." It was so gross, but I felt bad for her so I pretended not to be grossed out. Why? Why must I lie to her?

Heaven's Gate cult leader Marshall Applewhite had the last laugh. The really hard last laugh because when they got on the spaceship they saw a bunch of Mormons on their way

She shivered, rubbing her hands together. The snow was falling rapidly, and soon she would have to find a new home. Unconsciously fingering the necklace around her neck, she sighed

Grandpa carried on, "Back in my day, our good ideas lit torches, not bulbs. I remember when I caught wind of some necromancing scallawags, ooh boy. Ghosts don't like fire, nor do

She shoplifted all the time. It was her "thing." She didn't feel guilty either because she knew that retail was just a hot bed of lies. It was her experience at the GAP that

though, to be honest, I’ve no idea why…Van Gogh and Renoir wore the old shawls. They had a bottle in brown paper bag between them. They pretended to be drunk old women.

Picard, unshaven, pot-bellied, stained trousers, lounged on the sofa. He watched another episode of the Shield. He'd put Data in charge of everything and took a "break."

"That's it! Limp out of here. Stumble. Hobble your gold-brickin' ass out of here, with your hickory-crutch Trophy!" The shout echoed in the tavern.

After I'd used up most of the credit on prank calls, I thought it would be funny to text a message to a random person on the address list. I wrote "Where should I dump the body?"

The line for the new iPad was three blocks long at 5am and people were getting testy. When an old lady tried to get to the bus stop, someone shouted “NO CUTS!” and a riot broke out

"This right here is what you call a Powder Keg." Said stupid Billy. God I couldn't stand him. Everytime we went out we got into trouble. He pointed his .357 at the jet fuel tank

I said, "Shamone!" "Shah-mone-ah!" then I rapped my cobra-headed cane against the Gaiaen portal and said, "Heee-heeee!" Thundering and rumbling broke across the wide expanse

They say the neon lights are bright on Broadway. They say there's always magic in the air. But when you're walkin' down that steet and you haven't had enough to eat. TRY MC D'S NEW

He raised his cosmic Hand and said, "My name is Paul, and I'm a melange addict." The room swam with folksy possibilities from Earth in the 1930s, but they did have good coffee.

My mouth was raw and I could taste the sharp tang of iron. Looking around I didn't have a place to spit to see what was going on in there. I popped another hard candy. Last one for