I clicked 'Next" once again, I promised to myself that if I didn't find a nice girl to talk to in the next 5 'Nexts', I would leave Chatroulette forever. Cock, old man, cock, 7 yea

They McDonald's cashier politely asked my dad to pull forward and the food would be brought out. "Hell No, I won't pull forward this is supposed to be FAST food." Shame crept

From my usual table in th back corner of the Starbucks. I looked over my MacBook at the hipsters and breeder moms and resumed work on my manifesto, "Greed, God, and

It didn't seem important at the time. All she said was, "Nana, you have a big butt." That should have been the end of it, but then the nightmare began.

I pulled off my gas mask. The air was stale but breathable. I looked pass the craters to the horizon. There, in the distance, was the worn red flag. I lined up my driver. The ball

That day my girlfriend gave me that little box, she told me "don't open it till you arrive in Scotland" And so as I landed in Glasgow, I found out the reason she

The night grew darker. There was an earthy smell on the chilly air. Hannah pulled the sheet tighter against her skin. Suddenly, there was a crash and when she looked up

This was the moment I had been waiting for. I was about to become a celebrity. If I flashed my breasts at the exact point Tom Cruise left his hotel, I would be recognized across

He pulled out of the driveway in his new SUV, knowing that the car wouldn't last the rest of the day, let alone the 2-years the warranty promised. What choice did he have though,

Gadhafi hunkered down each time he heard another explosion, maybe hiding at the Sam Missile site had been a mistake. But with all those damn Guns and Missiles it sure looked safe.

Dick's array of attention whores brought him wealth and popularity, along with recurring VD and criticism. His wealth allowed him to buy the site, www.richasshole.com, with

The baby came out of the mother covered in goo but smoking a cohiba cigar. It looked at the shocked doctor and said, "

So then the squishy man in the suit said, "The Great Communicator." They were astonished. "But he was an idiot." "There's footage of him admitting to illegal activity." Then the

Drek slammed the empty stein on the bar. "Let me at that dart board." he slurred. The bartender eyed him quizically and swept the shattered crockery. Drek lifted his double-axe and

"I hate you as much as your mother hates you, if such a thing is possible." she said, and before I could respond, "If you died, nothing would be any different except I’d be happy.

I was awoken by the sirens blaring dangerously close to the ditch I was residing in. Dazed and confused, I fumbled for my cocaine and pants, neither of which were where I remembered

Shirley burped. Her face turned a bright pink as she squirmed in the pew, and Reverend Dickey began another long winded prayer. "Oh Lord,

STEVE'S CAR BROKE DOWN,a note on top of Gail's desk let her know,so she prepared herself to face the subway.Since she had no money for a cab,she had to.Claustrophobia was bitch!As

He'd always been confused: if you could give a rat's ass did that mean you cared more, or less, than if you couldn't give a rat's ass. While seemingly inane, it was relevant to

Once upon a time...isn't it cute?Has anyone tried that before?No,but seriously:there was a princess,a witch,a black man and a yellow lab...GO NUTS!