Remembering old time, I said, "Bad will be avenge by bad..." Still counting the day for the time to come... Or... perhaps...

Then I looked through the keyhole and saw Prince lying on the checkerboard dance floor, arched back, glistening from artificial butter flavoring, and then

Suddenly I snapped out of my haze and had the acute revelation that I needed to get out of there. I gathered up Jenn and carried her to the passenger side of my car and opened the

Tired of the noise and commotion of the streets, Batman, Jesus and Harry Brown walked into a burning pub.

he Tic Tacs left on the dresser in my room represented a vital part of my first date with Melissa Rainwater. Melissa was an Indian, now called Native Americans by sensitive types

There once was a boy from Madras. He always came last in class.

The kids left the playground with a feeling of discomfort. "What had we done?" The children walked silently into the night, pinching their foreheads and clamping their fists.

"Damn this weather" Marcine said, peering out of the gap in her blinds. "Dark and stormy nights are so cliche. Guess we're not going to the movies tonight!" She turned to her guest

Warning Fuckitall May cause a blasé attitude towards normal daily tasks like Eating, Wiping your ass, Keeping the wheels pointing down on your car, and telling your the Judge No

A naked redhead walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a 2-foot salami under the other. He lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says: "I suppose you won't be

"Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy..." The song was running through my head like a drum beat. The cars were at a standstill. I tapped the accerator

Everyone you did it. You should

One day Pablo was walking down the street to his local McDonalds, just as he had been every day of his life for 5 years straight. It's a wonder that he is even alive still.

"Take the plunge", read the link in the email. A large arrow pointed at the link enticingly. Little did I know the spiral of events that would unfold should I comply. I clicked it.

She was going to break up with him this time. He didn't call, he didn't come home. He was with that tramp Tracy. She ran outside and there he was, passed out on the porch, a bottle

He gingerly fingered his wound. They hadn't done him any real favors, leaving him alive as they did. Although he did have to admit

I closed the door and yelled "Honey I'm home! Boy, that shower BJ is REALLY going to hit the spot today. If you don't mind I'm just going to get a lot drunk first." Then

Jherek Manatee of Mars putted along the arid canals on his antigrav party-boat, pondering ancient mysteries in silence. But from the empty ruins of Xhiq came a horrific shriek!

I loaded and cocked the gun. I thought to myself "This world was never good enough for octopus-human love, and it will never will be!" As I raised the gun I imagined her purple

The want ads abound with mediums offering their service, and you really have to stick out somehow to get any business. The typo in my ad "Medium exercises horny ghosts"