I was so hungry that i started to eat

I was walking into a store when I saw a famous amos cookie the size of a tank. I tried to eat it, but it seemed a little stale, so I stopped trying to eat it. Oh well, I'm just

zer0 follow me ? :)

There once was a farmer, who lived in a castle. He had so many alligators that he didn't know what to do. One day, one of the purple alligators got loose, so the farmer decided to

I wanna' be the very best like no one ever was. To catch them was my real test, to train them is my cause! I will travel across the land, searching far and wide. Each pokemon to

"Jean Luc Picard. Jean Luc. Everybody just loves that bald old jerk." Number 1 was stewing on the holo-deck. He'd conjured up a chevy impala and was speeding and shifting gears

I was stuck in the restroom with no toilet paper. Stranded right after the biggest bout of diahrrea I'd ever had. I hear the door open and the boss walks in.

I traded my all my baseball cards to Tommy for his pet Slug, Oliver. I'm starting to think I was ripped off. He doesn't move much. That little shit jipped me. I tried prodding

It was 11 p.m., Mr. Aardvark glanced outside to the pouring rain. Another cigarette, another Bourbon. The cutout ransom letter he had found read "Get me my Golden Diamond or

The smell of ozone was strong. Slightly off-balance, he carefully removed the containers from the backpack. She took out the book and opened it to the correct page to begin. First,

How could she accuse him of being a mindless materialist? He had an iPad. How was that mindless? Clearly he was self-aware, he had Apple products which meant that

He placed the cap on the dry erase marker. The line went down the middle of the cubicle. All of his office equipment had post-its which read "Property of Greg" He took a mirror

The sky was dark. Rain soaked any living thing walking out of cover. Lightning stroke shedding light into a black canopy of mystery. Sue was not afraid of the dark, but this...

yes on earth that amazing place just like hevean the place that i know am never reaching so why to bother and do good stuffs while i can be bad bad and have earth here on my side

It was the week before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring - except the monstrous gooboo lizard from planet Zarg. He opened one of his yellow eyes ...

"Bread pudding is exactly how I got in such amazing shape!" Arnold Schwarzenegger definitely never said.

The manager wrapped the tape measure around my waist. "I'm afraid you're too skinny to be a mall Santa. Better luck next year." I knew I should've eaten more than a salad and

He was a ninja and a hipster which mean

he turned to his friend and said "I feel like I'm the left pussy lip and your the right one, we used to be tight until a dick got between us!"

The last write in ballot was read. The Election official's face dropped. He handed the ballot to the Official Recorder. The note had, in crayon, "Donald Trump."