"If he gets elected, we're trashed!" said Oscar & ran the smear ad: '10 reasons I'd rather have Big Bird for president than Mitt Romney' 1) Big Bird is a Golden Condor, Mitt is a

Captain's Log, supplemental. We have arrived in orbit around Foldinus Prime to settle a dispute between the creatures known as GreenBananas and buddyboy4711. Negotiations have

They traced the beginning of the end to "The McLaughlin Group", a sad and tired TV show. Leaping from her chair, Eleanor Clift began to strangle

I took a bus for Seoul on Friday.

The drum up coffin business Zev decided to sell a calender with young women dressed up as zombies possing with his coffins, so he put an ad in the paper, but when no models

He crept into the particle accelorator control room. Being the custodian here had its upside, he thought. The controls looked complicated. I wonder what this button does?

Am I the only one who cares about wrecking ball accuracy anymore? Sheesh, Dale, when I say that I want the Blockbuster destroyed, I don't mean the corner deli. Give it another go.

My wife is in the shower in our hotel room singing Black Sabbath and my heart is filled with

Y cuando ya creia que habia tocado las estrellas con la punta de los dedos, se dió cuenta de que estaba boca a bajo.

The best of times and the worst of times can not lift the veil of weariness from my overburdened shoulders. I am rarely alone these days because some shadow of either time appears.

What can you answer if a child asks 'Is Santa Claus real?' You can tell him the truth and destroy his hope and trust. But what if that person is an adult? What would you say then?

I lived in my own world...sort of like the Matrix but with unicorns

We went about our affairs on Earth, confident as rulers of this world while Intellects vast, cool & unsympathetic regarded our planet with envy slowly & surely drawing their plans.

Minimalism

Lulu believed in second chances. Unfortunately, she was on her fifth.

The I.T. Tech was thoroughly confused. The cache of 'penis', 'cheap vodka', and 'internet dating' sites was troubling. But then there were bookmarks for '.gif' and 'alphabet'. What

"Applicants must have >50000 follicles growing on their face, excessive cuticle growth on hands and feet, hypodontia desired but not required. Benefits: frequent travel,

Why, bless you're haaaart (you're so stupid)...I just love you to deeee-ath (I loathe you)...Aren't you just the sweetest thaaang (I'd shoot you if I had a gun right here)...

And when The Raven unwound in my room, I gave the yarn I'd stored:

The bar smelled like fresh-squeezed hipster and easily was the worst place the band had ever played. They were crammed over in the corner between the men's room and a gigantic