"Oh! Hey Bob! How's it goin'?" Bob whipped around. "You must be mistaken. My name's not Bob." "Sure it is, Bob." I squinted. "Yes, you're definitely Bob." Bob's adam's apple bobbed

The duck walked down the road on the hot day and he found some crumbs and ate them. He drank some water & his belly swelled because it was pink lemonade, & it was magic. So he was

Joe's bud opens the door for him as Joe stated in shock "man, I slept on the bus and when I woke up there was this big whole, made with scissors on my jeans. Who made it? Why? How?

My history internal assessment was due three hours ago. I was going to fail the IB. It was all her fault. When I first saw her I knew

Once upon a time, a few mistakes ago,

Out of ideas, the band built robots to play random songs. "We'll steal whatever ROCKS," they said. The next day, the robots stole their guyliner, drums, and van, going on tour in

A hard-boiled egg was set before him. The shell was fragmented. Gently he began to peel it, one shard at a time.

How many times does it take for you to understand?

she straddled me up and rode me till the cows came home

I drew the robe tightly about me and settled down for a nice long nap. But the robe was not a robe. It was a piece of military technology designed to kill me. Awwwkwwarrdd....

Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. went the big ghastly

I found a grumpy Dutchman in my kitchen this morning demanding breakfast. "I haven't got cornflakes," I apologised, "only cocoa pops." He slammed his spoon down, a guttural stream

I'm not sure anyone was really surprised the day I screamed some pretty colorful new curse words at my boss, quit my job, and ran off to join the circus.

As a pastor of the Utilitarian Church of Objective Philosophy I've married people with cars, roller coasters, ferris wheels, video game characters & garden fences, but now I'll

Is it iconic or ironic when an poppa orc's roc pops corks in a stock IROC pumping shock rock?

-LUNKER! SPE-LUNKER! The reclusive, hermit mole man! Spe-lunker! Spe-lunker! A friend to all the kids!

Havran and the Jumping Spiders had attracted seven people to the club in Athens, GA. Havran was dispirited, but the drummer said "Great Magic can be done with small numbers" and so

Donny D'Angelo was so narcissistic he'd go into a hair salon and pay to sit and look at himself in the mirror for 30 minuntes and then say, "Qui bono, Don't change a thing."

To her credit, the wind was swinging the rope every direction but the one she wanted to go. Following it was never something she would have even considered.

It's amazing the things you do when you're young. I found my old diary. When I was 8 years old my goal in life was to be a vet for unicorns and narwhals, and to marry Fred from