The bunch of bananas winced collectively after being dropped unceremoniously in the middle of the pineapple bin. It wasn't easy being green.

Rich took Joey to work today - I got home... and no dog greeted me.

I was trapped, alone on an iceberg, penguins and that squamous, tentacled THING slowly melting out of the ice as my only companionship. The penguins had wised up to my predations,

Icy rain pelted the tin roof. Burke pulled the sheep skin rug up exposing her feet. Sure there wasn't much but it was shelter as long as it stood against the whistling wind

I like hearing her sandals shuffle gracefully along the sandy cattail-riddled path to the shoreline, and the sparkle in her eye when she first sees the surf rolling toward her.

Lion tastes good.Let's establish a beachhead to aggressively hunt their prides. We'll construct breathing apparatus from kelp & trap certain amounts of oxygen. Tuna commandos will

Amber, after some thought, updated her a Facebook status --OMG why do hot guys go for ugly girls? :( :( :( --

Pungent cologne intoxicating my lungs, I couldn't breathe. He was

The Tale of the 5 AM Sandwich and the Perilous Pickle of Peter Piper when confronted by Envy. Or sometimes The Rape of the Starbuck's Woman.who also worked at Panda Express.

Sirens went off in the entrance room. Lights on the wall, flashed brightly. People stood up and ran to and fro, with panic, but also with agility - preparing for action.

"What would you do if your son was at home on the bedroom floor, 'cause he's hungry and the only way to feed him is to sleep with a man for a little bit of money? And his daddy's

'No Billy, you can't be a Half-Elf Clown in Dungeons and Dragons,' said Mike, always the buzzkill. 'But you said you wanted scary.' replied Billy. 'Wait! I know! How about

The First United Church of Bowlers opened at Rev. Chucks Luck Strike on Pilgram Lane. After the opening frame, Rev. Chuck accended to the pulpet just above the

Then she put a deep fried hard boiled egg in front of me and I didn't know what to do.

I am VERY mad at you! What we're you thinking when you

Don loved his duck who advised him in all manner of life's ups and downs, and so on the day of his court appearance on charges of insobriety he smuggled in some brewskies and Daffy

Okay guys, should I or should I not eat this doughnut?

The postcard said: Meet me at the Bleeding Heart, Holborn. Don't wear a coat and bring the book with you - Dmitri.

Andrew climbed the stairs. He had been climbing for hours, but there seemed to be no end to this stairwell. Just as he was about to give up, however,

Hey - listen up Parents of the World. Just cuz I'm a lil kid doesn't mean I don't have stuff to say. Next time you guys "stay together" for us kids, do us favor, huh, and DON'T.