Squawkers just ordered a T-shirt bragging

  • Squawkers just ordered a T-shirt bragging about how he survived Sharknado. Well, I survived Snow Shark, it may of been an ancient snow beast, but it was a modern killing machine.

  • Well yeah? think you're badass, dont you? I survived Sharktopus VS. Mothra. Now that was an award winner. Sharknado? geez, all you need is a hedge trimmer and you're set.

  • But for Snow Shark you need something even more badass ... like a Garden Weasel. Father Joe taught me that when I used to tend the gardens with him, until a Snow Shark ate him in

  • the wee hours of the morning. That damn snow shark with is white skin was impossible to see. As I watched Joe disappear I couldn't help but, wonder where the Honey Badger was

  • because my mind is like that. But the snow shark is relentless and cunning. It courses along the ski slopes just beneathe the surface waiting for someone to fall.

  • And oh...lookee! Here comes Clumsy Claude now, barreling down the black diamond slope, trying to impress the ski bunnies! The snow shark waited eagerly for Claude to take a tumble

  • so he could tear him to shreds. Clumsy Claude was skiing quite swiftly, and as expected, he tumbled face-first into the snowy ground at high speeds. The snow shark swiftly

  • swam towards Clumsy Claude, but fell apart upon touching Claude, for the snow shark was made of snow. Clumsy Claude then tried to continue skiing but fell over again. More snow

  • piled on top of Willis until Clumsy Claude had buried him alive. Willis' wails lifted into the air upon the cold slopes of Mount Everest, but it was too late. He was like ice cream

  • - but not like soft scoop. He was like Neopolitan ice cream left at the bottom of the freezer until it's diamond hard. Or maybe more like raspberry ripple or blackcurrant sorbet.



  1. m80 Sep 01 2013 @ 00:06

    And the moral of the story is: trying to impress women will kill you.

  2. SlimWhitman Sep 01 2013 @ 17:44

    I detect a black current flowing through this tail. Now jagged icy fins in the snow make me shudder..

  3. MangoMania Sep 03 2013 @ 09:38

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCywrFyN_R4 Fair warning once you watch this Snow Shark trailer you can't get the 2 minutes of your life back.

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