I got a lot done today! Finished my butt
-
I got a lot done today! Finished my butt gluing fixture. Moved the porch light (I was tired of the moths getting in the house every time I opened the door at night) the TODO list
3 -
was exhaustive. "Todo" was Spanish for "everything." There was everything on that list. Which included supergluing the
4 -
fallen toe nail back on to the Senora's big toe."Haces de todo?"they asked when I aplied to the job."Si."I answered,stating that I was up for anything,but I never thought it meant
5 -
speaking Spanish. "Non hablo puerco, Dora," I wanted to say, but didn't think of it 'til later. Do they expect me to spend money on pot instead of windows for my shit house? What
1 -
did they want from me? Dora, sensing my misgivings, tried another tactic.The oldest, but most effective strategy in the world: sex. She opened her Spanish fan & whispered something
4 -
naughty, something dirty, something nasty. This whisper would make Ron Jeremy and Jenna Jameson blush. Dora's hardcore whisper was so far out there into the world of fetishism
4 -
but it did wonders for the tumescently challenged & flaccidly phallused would-be bedroom paramours for Dora's penis whispering was a powerful and natural cure
4 -
for wimpy weenies. I know this from first hand experience, so to speak. Dora had a way with impotence that could only be described as miraculous. Once, she talked my penis into
5 -
'rising from the dead like King Tut' by singing ancient Phoenician curses & tying a ribbon round it 3 times. Unfortunately the spell didn't wear off & Dora had to hit it with a
4 -
catalytic converter from a '57 Chevy blessed by seven impotent Druidic priests as foretold in the Book of the Almost Dead. The metal crashed down with a sound like
3
- Started
- 2011-06-07 00:32:11
- Finished
- 2014-04-19 17:14:56
1 Comments
Want to leave a comment?
Sign up!
49erFaithful Apr 22 2014 @ 13:01
YEEEAAAAOOOOUUUCCHH!!!!!