28

"Stick it where the sun don't shine!" Mel

  • "Stick it where the sun don't shine!" Mel advised, adjusting his eyepatch and hitching up his kilt. I laughed derisively. "Broccoli won't grow in the shade, you sorry excuse for a

    3
  • real estate broker!" This greatly upset the Pirate Mel. He sat down, "Ok, I'm sorry." He handed me a dabloon and we drank a pint of ale in silence. I was about to say goodbye

    2
  • when the Pirate Mel grappled my shirt sleeve with his hook and pulled me back to my seat. "Beware the Tides of Mars," his rank breath hissed, "They'll burn yer boat and leave ya ta

    3
  • drink da sea in search of dry land." His one good eye narrowed in on me, but all I could manage was a small chuckle, as I plucked Mel's hat from his head and placed it on my

    3
  • midsection. I was modest and didn't want anyone to notice that I had a thing for this beautiful one-eyed creature named Mel. He was otherwordly appearance-wise, but I was determine

    3
  • d to declare my love for Mel to my parents. I knew they would love that one-eyed creature as much I do, especially because my father had one eye himself. He lost it in poker game

    2
  • back in the hard winter of '74. He'd a pair of aces so scooped out his eyeball & slapped it on the table. As soon as Mel and my father slapped eye on each other, I lost her to him

    3
  • It was awkward to watch my fiancee and my dad, but they'd performed the Eyeball Bonding Ritual by melding their retinas to each other, so I had no say in it. As a step-mom, Mel

    4
  • Gibson was having trouble adjusting. "Mad Max. Apocalypto. Anti-semitic rants. All that -- for this?" He tore off his apron and threw it into the bonfire. "I shall avenge this

    3
  • apron! To the death!" Tom Cruise had walked up the staircase of boxes of copies of Dianetics to peer over the fence and yelled at Mel, "Stop acting so normal over there."

    2

0 Comments

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!