The coffee bag was vacuumed-sealed in an

The coffee bag was vacuumed-sealed in an impenetrable brick. The seams couldn't be pulled apart, scissors bent, it broke knife blades and using a hammer only cracked the counter

. I realized I'd found a better brick. My coffeehouses made of vacuum-sealed coffee bags was awarded the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation Development award. I traveled to Africa to

teach the Nigerians how to build a Chik-fil-A out of frozen chicken patties. The secret was using mustard for mortar - as they defrosted, the breading bonded with the mustard, crea

to discover they hadn't invented the chicken after all. With the new marketing campaign already released, they were in for some nasty legal battles. "Get David Boies on the horn,"

But no one was listening to Walt. No one did. When Walt spoke, people talked over him. When he raised his hand no one saw it. The Chicken Company had no idea he worked there.

Until New Year's Eve of 2012. This is when things started to turn... At first people around Walt didn't suspect it was him responsible for this terrible event. But Eric noticed

and confronted Walt about all the terrible things he'd done right at the New Year party. "I know it was you," Eric hissed. "I know you were the one who wrapped that cockatoo in

tinsel and put it on the tree." "No, that wasn't me," Walt adamantly told Eric. "That was Uncle Charlie. He said it'd be a gas but it backfired when the cockatoo pooed all over the

star on top. Now look at it," he added sadly. "Ah well," laughed Eric. "Just another family Christmas, eh?" And with that, the cockatoo broke into "O Holy Night" & all sang along.