The slow motion aliens have finally landed.

The slow motion aliens have finally landed. Everything in the world slowed down to a crawl. "It is to teach the human race patience & to learn to take time to smell the roses," the

Emperor Snailien decreed. The sudden slowing of Earth's rotation sent many of the lighter Earthlings skyward, but it was a small price. Florists sent thank you messages via dial-up

Internet access. Emperor Snailien closed airports and promoted international travel by sailing ships. Letters were to be hand written in fine calligraphy. People walked rather than

hopped and skipped rather than walked. All swimming strokes were banned except breaststroke. Only clockwise stirring was allowed when making custard. Emperor Snailien beheaded many

Swahili. This fool obviously did not go to the School of Culinary Arts for Custard. Stirring counter-clockwise is absurd!!

"You don't want to start a cyclone in your custard bowl, now do you?" The cooking class stared at the instructor, who continued, "Hasn't anyone heard of the Coriolis Effect?"

Blank stares. Finally someone said "Is that that new one on Bravo?" Disgusted, the cooking instructor said "No, nevermind, look, just mix the scalded milk mixture into the eggs and

beef chorizo." The cooking instructor was already thinking about tonight's date. Her name? Matilda. Race? Chinese Mexican. Blab-factor: Mucho annoying. He couldn't wait until

she was deported. But until then, he'd stir the pot a little more & also invite her hot Polish-Somalian friend along on their date. He loved cooking & going around the world.