CSI: Omaha. The show were we see intrepid
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CSI: Omaha. The show were we see intrepid scientists wheel about in their office chairs and play Canasta. The lead investigator stares out the window and waits and waits...
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for retirement. The phone rang. Startled, he answered. "Hello CSI? There's been a suspicious accident on the set of Mutual of Omaha Wild Kingdom, Marlin Perkins was gored by a Bore
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“No Sanders, not a Boar, a b-o-r-e, like your boss, Jim Brass. No, Jim didn’t gore Marlin Perkins, it was another bore…how do I know? Look, just get over here!” When CSI arrived
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to primetime all dramas became cop dramas. It was crap. It was boring. Jim Brass, (AKA "Brass Tacks") was trying to keep his job at Paramount. He'd had a slew of no-hits
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&, alternatively, medical dramas which all had the same old schtick of some doctor with all the personality of a slapped ass. Jim Brass needed a starring role, not cop & med shows
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, something with class. "How about I stand in front of a green screen and compliment people?" Jim Brass suggested. The Comedy Central exec said, "I'm gonna need 3 racist jokes per
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episode and if we're not being boycotted by at least two accredited human rights group by the end of the first season, you're fired." I was confident I could meet Comedy Central's
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mandate. I wrote the most obnoxiously funny monologues imaginable for Comedy Central, annihilating human rights groups like Amnesty Intl., the Alliance for Women, & CryptoRights. I
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joined the George C Marshall Institute where I lobbied for increased use CFCs, denied global warming and denied the carcinogenic nature of smoking tobacco. I mastered denying every
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thing until I met Death with her slathering wolves at a crossroads one day. She said "You're dead." I said "No, I'm not." Death just walked away.
5
- Started
- 2011-10-21 21:47:12
- Finished
- 2013-03-05 06:01:02
7 Comments
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Zetawilk Mar 05 2013 @ 11:12
Blunt as it is, I think we've all done a great service here today.
SlimWhitman Mar 05 2013 @ 19:23
Walking away from Death is a rare thing, but the reverse? Unheard of! Can't resist: http://foldingstory.com/m6vnt/ http://foldingstory.com/q3puz/
lucielucie Mar 06 2013 @ 02:31
I think that because the narrator meets Death at a crossroads and she's a woman and she's accompanied by wolves that she's Hecate. Hecate is associated with ghosts - and nothing is in greater denial than a ghost. She walks away because she doesn't argue. She's doing him a favour, really, by letting him know. Now, if I'd had any idea the story is about stuff off the telly, then I wouldn't have written this ending... But there you go.
lucielucie Mar 06 2013 @ 04:58
and thanks for the stories SlimWhitman.
PurpleProf Mar 06 2013 @ 05:08
Death's name is Renee. "Just walk away, Renee..."
PurpleProf Mar 06 2013 @ 09:00
SlimWhitman & LucieLucie... http://foldingstory.com/ofaj9/
lucielucie Mar 06 2013 @ 09:25
I like the name Renee Hekate. Renee means 'reborn' in French so it's an interesting name for Death.